Tiger Woods Causes Cancer

So far, the only link between Tiger Woods and HGH is the doctor that Woods went to for treatment.

It is true that Dr. Anthony Galea is under investigation for providing HGH to athletes. It is true that Tiger Woods is an athlete.

We don't know that Dr. Galea has provided Tiger Woods with HGH, and until a smoking syringe is produced, we won't know. Absent some sort of circumstantial proof, like dates, times, and amounts that would correspond with Woods' treatments, and fun stuff like bigger shirt sizes and hat sizes following those treatments (see Bonds, Barry), we will not have any definite proof that Woods has in fact taken HGH.

This has not stopped the jilted hero-builders from weighing in.

Quoth L.A. Times scribe Bill Plaschke, "From the back, the dude looked like Barry Bonds. His neck was oddly wide. His shoulders were absurdly broad. His biceps were busting out of a tight shirt...If a guy is a chronic cheater off the course, what kind of leap is required to believe he could be the same sort of cheater on the course?"

Says Jay Mariotti of Fanhouse.com, "Suddenly, a world that no longer trusts Woods because of his extramarital affairs is left to wonder if he has been cheating on the golf course, too."

Then there's this, from Orlando Sentinel writer Mike Bianchi: "Remember the before-and-after pictures of lanky Bonds as a young baseball player and then the bulked-up, hulked-up Bonds after he began using that BALCO-manufactured "flaxseed oil"? Well, look at pictures of Tiger as the skinny young golfer and compare them to the thicker, bigger, sculpted, chiseled Tiger of today. Doesn't it make you wonder?"

Yes, I cherry-picked these quotes. I could easily have produced a dozen more without doing much research, because right now anything that casts Tiger Woods in a poor light is getting the green light from anyone anxious to sell papers or generate web hits.

This is the kind of reckless speculation that these print writers (or, in Mariotti's case, former print writers) have long accused bloggers of. There isn't a shred of evidence to back up their wild claims, nothing beyond anecdotal evidence that Tiger Woods is bigger now than when he was 20.

All of us are bigger now than when we were 20. All of us don't work out as regularly as Woods does.

Moreover, Woods was the first modern golfer to recognize the benefit of regular weight training, which adds...wait for it...additional muscle.

(Disclaimer: irrational speculation follows.) It sez so right here that if Tiger Woods has regularly lifted weights for the last 13 years, he will be bigger and stronger now than when he was 20.

The worst part about all these hysterical articles is that the writers are now attempting to cast a shadow over Woods' career accomplishments, that he cheated when he won 82 tournaments all around the world, and that he had an unfair advantage in winning 14 majors.

None of them wants to deal with the fact that HGH has no benefit for a golfer, not strength, not endurance, not putting accuracy. None.

For example, Bianchi makes a lame attempt to compare baseball to golf, in that the swings are similar, that power is an advantage, yada yada yada. He conveniently forgets that Tiger Woods is nowhere close to being the PGA's driving distance leader anymore. Woods is currently ranked 21st overall in driving distance, trailing such notables as Robert Garrigus and Tag Ridings. In fact, even though I haven't looked it up, I'd bet my paycheck that you could combine the career totals of the 20 guys ahead of Woods and not equal his absurd number of wins, even though Phil Mickelson, Davis Love III, and Sergio Garcia are in that group.

None of them wants to deal with the fact that we've seen Woods' greatness coming from a loooong way away. He is a six-time Junior World Golf Champion. He is a three-time U.S. Junior Amateur Champion. He is a three-time U.S. Amateur Champion. He won the NCAA Individual Golf Championship while at Stanford. Woods was head-and-shoulders better than everyone else while he was getting hair in funny places and thinking differently about girls, while pimples had their way with his face, while his feet outgrew the rest of his body, while his jeans kept getting shorter a month after buying them, while he was growing up. From child prodigy out-putting Bob Hope on the Mike Douglas show to adult champion, Woods has always been this good.

Now its because he might have done HGH?

Absent something better than Woods' doctor, I'll wait to pass judgment.

I'll also wait for a similar spate of stories about Dara Torres, Donovan Bailey, and Javon Walker, all of whom are similarly connected to Dr. Galea, none of whom have been smeared with the HGH brush like Woods has.

Bill Plaschke, The Story Grows Bigger and Juicier, L.A. Times
Jay Mariotti, What's Woods Doing With HGH Doctor, Fanhouse.com
Mike Bianchi, The PGA Tour Should Take Seriously Woods' Link To A Doctor Suspected Of Providing Performance-Enhancing Drugs To Athletes, Orlando Sentinel