Tila Tequila Naked Ustream Video Rant -- "Flashback" or Narcissism?

Tila Tequila is back in the gossip columns for getting naked -- again. Tila Tequila, just days after filing a $1.5 million lawsuit against San Diego Chargers defensive linebacker Shawne Merriman for false imprisonment and battery, took to the internet on UStream in an hours-long naked rant that TMZ said covered everything from Merriman to hygiene. Tila Tequila, known for her reality show "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila," has become better known in recent months for her Springer-esque real-life drama situations than for anything she has done on television. She later said that it was "flashbacks" to the Shawne Merriman ordeal that made her get naked and start ranting via video on Ustream.

Back in September, Tila Tequila called the police to the home of San Diego football star Shawne Merriman. She told police Merriman had choked her and held her against her will. Merriman was subsequently arrested and said he would fight the charges. Merriman and Tila Tequila had been at a bar together earlier in the evening. Merriman claimed that, after going back to his place, Tila Tequila had decided to leave but was acting erratically, and he thought she was intoxicated. He tried to stop her from leaving but denies holding her against her will and choking her. Apparently, there were several people at Shawne Merriman's house when the incident occurred and Merriman's lawyer said they would attest to Merriman's innocence.

Tila Tequila later posted images of her bruised arms online as proof of what Merriman had done to her. Whether or not the marks were made by Shawne Merriman's treatment is unknown.

During her naked rant on Ustream Thursday, Tila Tequila referred to Shawne Merriman as a "woman beater."

At times her rambling on Ustream video became confused and incoherent. She would later say that she was "an angel... because I am here to save the world with my army."

At one point, the diminutive reality show star said, ""People call me an attention whore .. or whatever ... but excuse me I'm a grown ass woman and I'm confident in myself ...I think a woman's body is a beautiful thing ... that's why I'm a lesbian ... I was born naked ... anybody who is against that is gay and in denial."

She also said it was the last time she would ever appear on Ustream video.

Regardless of whether or not she's to be taken at her word on appearing again on Ustream in the future, Tila Tequila may have just sunk her case against Shawne Merriman. If he does produce corroborative witnesses that attest to his not being at fault from the night that Tila Tequila maintains she was assaulted by him and they support his story that Tila Tequila was acting as if she were intoxicated, then her hours-long naked rant could also be used to support his position, especially since Tila Tequila maintains that she does not drink (although intoxication can be induced by other means). That she was having "flashbacks" to the night of the alleged assault and they were powerful enough to make her get naked and begin a free association tirade online may be a difficult sell to a judge and jury. Passing off an attack of exhibitionism as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder could cause some to dismiss her complaint altogether. That she was being her usual exhibitionistic self (naked videos, sex videos, reality shows, the Ustream account) seems more likely and the proposition that "flashbacks" caused her to act in such a manner might be seen as opportunistically convenient.

As to the veracity of her claim, there also exists the possibility that something could have triggered her behavior. Individuals who suffer long-term abuses or abuses they have repressed, may find themselves acting in a manner inconsistent with their normal behavior. However, Tila Tequila's behavior seems more consistent with the self-loathing of a narcissist, constantly acting out, even in flagrantly detrimental and demeaning ways, to get attention or temporary affirmation that validates but at the same time reinforces feelings of unworthiness, guilt, and increased self-loathing. So although it is plausible that she was thinking about -- or actually having a "flashback" to -- the Shawne Merriman episode when her naked rant began, it is also possible that she got naked and started ranting because she needed an "attention fix." And the naked rant will become just another thing for Tila Tequila to feel bad about herself over, continuing the vicious cycle of narcissism.

To make matters worse, her naked rant came just a month after she took to her Twitter account and posted that she was suicidal. After posting that people were "ignorant" and "racists," she told her followers not to mourn for her after she killed herself. MTV and GlobalGrind.com reported that she later posted several messages that assured her fans and followers that she was alright and was seeking treatment for her "mental problems."

Taken all in all, Tila Tequila may be doing far more damage to her $1.5 million case than she knows. Actions such as the suicidal tweets and the naked rant certainly do not help.

But no matter what caused Tila Tequila to appear on Ustream video naked and start unwinding live in front of the world, one has to hand it to her for her creative and strangely plausible defense afterward...

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Sources:

TMZ.com
Ustream.tv
MTV.com
Twitter.com
Globalgrind.com