Till Death Do Us Part - Getting Married?

Webster defines marriage as: "The state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law" but it's much more than that. Marriage is more than a piece of paper legally binding you to your spouse. It's a lifetime commitment of love and loyalty. Not to be compared with the relationship with your dog, marriage is a union of love, support, mutual respect and companionship. Do not go into it without a lot of thought.

Swept Off Your Feet

All too often, women AND men get caught up in their emotions. "Oh I love him so much", or "She's all I want and all I need". We get all wrapped up in our emotions sometimes and we often don't think practically. There is nothing wrong with that butterfly feeling in your stomach. There's nothing wrong with tears of joy when we love someone so much. Keep your feet on the ground. Don't get your head in the clouds and loose touch with the real world.

How Much Do You Make?

Assuming that you two newlyweds don't want to live with his mom or her mom, how much money do the two of you take home in a month? Sit down with a paper and a calculator. Write it all down and add it all up and then add about $250 USD in miscellaneous expenses. How does that look? Things often look doable on paper but you always have to figure for the unexpected. The car needs a new timing belt or four new tires at $100 USD a piece. These things come up. Between both of you, can the two of you afford to pay your rent or mortgage, feed yourselves, pay your gas, electric, cable, Internet, his car payment and YOUR car payment, auto insurance premiums, life insurance premiums, land line phone, and both of your cell phones? Things add up. Make sure you don't have to struggle financially. Financial woes lead to a LOT of divorces.

Children

I know, you want a house full of children with your new husband. I know that it's important to you to carry on your last name with the birth of a son. Maybe you just want one boy and one girl. Let me tell you something, God has a sense of humor. Most couples that have a boy and are hoping for a baby girl (or vise versa) end up with five boys and one girl. (or vise versa). Funny how that happens right? If you decide to have a baby, add about $500 USD of expenses a month to your budget per child. Clothes (you'll have to replace them frequently. Children grow like weeds before your very eyes), family health and dental insurance, food, diapers for the first year and half to two years (very expensive), and lets not forget DAYCARE if you both work. (More parents work full time (both of them) than not these days). Come to think of it, $500 USD a month is a VERY low number. It will likely be MUCH higher. Don't get all wrapped up and throw caution to the wind while having sex until you KNOW you can afford a child.

Still Want To Get Married?

More importantly, are you both READY to get married? When we're single, if you foolishly spend all of our paycheck on clothes or video games for the Wii, you are the ONLY one who suffers. If you can't afford anything but a package of .99 cent hot dogs to eat for week, that's YOUR problem. No one goes hungry but YOU. If you have a wife or a wife and child or wife and children depending on you, that can be a LOT of pressure.

Look, I'm not saying don't get married. In the words of Micheal Bolton, "Love is a wonderful thing". Spending your life with the one you love the most and starting a family is a rewarding experience. Just make sure you have all your ducks in a row before you take that big leap. Good luck. Both of you.