Tim Lincecum: My New Favorite Pitcher

A baseball player using a drug that doesn't enhance his performance.

According to the Associated Press, San Francisco Giants ace Tim Lincecum was pulled over for speeding, at which time Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell" began playing in the background. Officer Friendly then busted Lincecum with 3.3 grams of The Buddha.

Tim Lincecum likes to smoke trees?

That's my MAN!

Oh, I'm going to say it, and I don't care who is listening: we should immediately decriminalize any marijuana possession, period. As long as tobacco in general and cigarettes in particular remain legal for adult consumption, we live a legislative lie. Free the herb!

I'm just glad to see that Tim Lincecum is on my side, at least for the present. He'll be forced to do some song-and-dance about how he's regretful for this "mistake" and that he'll get help and yada yada yada.

First off, this is most certainly not a mistake. Leaving your keys in the car after closing and locking the door is a mistake. Giving your teenager a credit card is a mistake. Cruising in a 3-year-old Benzo whilst puffing on the Peace Pipe is not a mistake. It's a lifestyle choice.

This leads me to my second point. Lincecum is going to be forced to say a lot of stuff he doesn't believe, and perhaps even do a lot of stuff he wouldn't ordinarily do, because his smoke-ophobic bosses with the Giants and MLB are going to freak out and make him do it. Because there is no moral or ethical reason to jump on Lincecum, Bud Selig and his ringwraith cronies are going to seize upon the illegality of The Smokage.

I can almost hear it now: "MLB deplores the use of illegal drugs."

What they really mean to say is that MLB deplores the use of illegal drugs that don't make good players into better ones (Hey, it's Mark McGwire! Welcome back, buddy!). The sad and scary part of this is that there will likely be more of a mountain made out of Lincecum's 3.3 gram recreational molehill than if he'd been pulled over with a syringe full of stanolozol. Not that A-Rod or Andy Pettite would know anything about that, but I digress...

In the meantime, let's not forget that legal doesn't equal right and illegal doesn't equal wrong. It was legal, once upon a time, to deny women and blacks the right to vote. It was illegal, federally illegal, to allow blacks to learn to read. Technically speaking, Frederick Douglass was a criminal.

Tim Lincecum likes to smoke weed.

Believe me, worse things could be said about him.