Timber Dan's Outdoor Living: When Animals Attack

JORDAN LAKE, N.C. - I had a real piece of outdoor living last week. It was scary, too.

Coming home from Chapel Hill after watching North Carolina's great win over Rutgers, I hit a deer.

Or, rather, the deer hit me. Out of the dark woods of Chatham County onto the Farrington Road came a big young buck. No, not one of George Karl's Milwaukee Bucks. This was a husky young buck, and there it was right in front of my car, running across the road.

There was just time for me to yell "Oh, no" and slam on the breaks. I heard a big thump. The deer hit the front of my car, bounced off and kept running into the woods.

The damage could have been much worse, and I was not hurt. I lost a chuck of the grille and had one liight shattered. I was able to drive home and tend to business - including getting my car repaired. Tucked under one fender was the evidence: some pieces of the deer's fur.

Two seconds later and I might not be writing this column. If that buck had ran into me on the driver's side of the car, it might literally have been "all she wrote for me. I have Nationwide on my side for insurance. But I think God was on my side last week. That's something to be thankful for, as well as seat belts.

'All My Fault'

My associate, Neil Fuller, said it was all my fault. It seems I interrupted Matt Doherty during his postgame press conference. I didn't mean to. I wanted to ask about freshman center Sean May's apparent trouble with leg cramps.

I thought Matt was finished with his previous answer but it wasn't so. The coach merely chuckled and quipped "Well, I guess it was about time somebody shut me up."

He was in a good mood after that great win. It could have been different if the Tar Heels lost. If it had been Bob Knight, I would probably have been blessed out, and welcome to the club, Dan.

If it had been Dean Smith, he probably would have chuckled and had one of his great dry comebacks.

If it had been Coach K, I probably would have gotten a rather grim look - like the kind he gives referees and Duke's student media. "It was Matt Doherty getting even with you, that thing with the deer," Neil said, once it had been established that I wasn't hurt and the car was in good hands over at Cotton's Body Shop.

I was able to get help and advice, as always, from E.V. Spell and the gang at Dorman Motors, some of the best friends you or your car could have. Small towns have a great advantage: People will go the extra mile for you.

Was I scared?

You don't have time to be scared when this kind of thing happens. Only when i got back to the house did I begin to think about what could have happened. It was late at night, but I had to sit down and shake my head a few times before hitting the hay.

I wonder about that poor deer. I didn't have time to see if he had a red nose, so I guess he wasn't Rudolph. But with more good luck and health, it looks like I'll be around for Santa to pay his annual visit this year.

But I certainly have had enough of this kind of outdoor living.

Hip Hop Timber Dan

"Went solo on their (expletive deleted), but it's still the same/Long Beach is the sight where I serve my game," Snoop Dogg.

(This column originally appreared in The (Dunn, N.C.) Daily Record on Nov. 26, 2002. Timber Dan can be reached via e-mail at drichards@mydailyrecord.com.)