Time Maybe the Perfect Gift for Your "Tweener" Daughter

Finding the right present for your "tweener" daughter or her best friend can be a nightmare. These girls are too old for most toys and too young for the things they seem to really want, so the default seems to be cds and clothes.

Here are a few options that have worked well for me. The first is by far my favorite, but remember you still have to buy something to go under the tree.

A day at the spa - This can be accomplished one of two ways, by actually buying a spa package or by planning a do-it-yourself day at home. The best of both worlds is to combine the two.

My favorite local spa, Egyptian Revival, offers a "Little Princess" day program that includes an up-do for her hair, makeup appropriate to the age group (mostly just lip gloss), a manicure and lunch for about $125. Take the day off work during Christmas break when she doesn't have school and spend the day together. This will be a great gift to both of you, as it won't be long before she wants nothing to do with hanging out with mom.

Letting the spa do all the work can be nice, but it means that strangers will be having more interaction with your child than you do. A better, and less expensive option, is to plan for most of the spa treatment to take place at home. This also helps with the what to put under the Christmas tree problem. Discount stores generally have manicure and pedicure kits designed just for the holidays and usually for less than $10 each.

Buying this type of gift assures that as the parent, you have control over the colors that she has as an option. Do you really want your ten-year-old with fire engine red nail polish? And, it let's you have something to put under the tree.

Combine this with an appointment at a nice salon to have her hair done and plan for a nice lunch or dinner out together afterward, preferably somewhere in the mall, where she is likely to see her friends and can show off her new look. Ladies, we all know our children are growing up too fast, but this is a way you can contribute to how she looks and make her feel grown up without resorting to a leather mini-skirt or other totally inappropriate clothing.

If you're feeling extremely brave, the other option is to plan a party for her and four or five of her closest friends. A variety of hair-styling implements, dryer, curling iron, hair gel, barrettes, hair ties, and mousse, as well as the manicure and pedicure kits could make for a wonderful adventure when she's normally bored silly because school's out. On the plus side, other parents will love you for taking their daughters off their hands for the day. If you do this, present each girl in attendance with a disposable camera as a party favor and spring for the one hour developing while you have a pizza dinner. It may be the best gift ever!

Animal Crossing. Though our daughters are convinced they are too old for toys, this video game for the Nintendo Game Cube appeals to girls well into their teens (when their friends aren't looking) and sometimes beyond. The premise of the game is simple...help the poor defenseless creatures get across the road. But it appeals to young women (and sometimes young men) possibly because it is so simplistic. The game itself is less than $20; if you need to buy her the game system as well, you can still get out of the present for less than $150.

The End. The last chapter of Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events is being released October 13th. It's the 13th book in the series and the last one. These books have great appeal to the not quite teenaged crowd because they are fantastical in nature and appeal to the rebellious teen dream of not having parents to worry about.

Sure, the books are a little silly and even sometimes sappy, but their appeal was only enhanced by the quirky movie last year and the fact that there is nothing new Harry Potter available this fall.

Clothes. Every junior high or late elementary school child knows that the first day back after Christmas break means wearing the new clothes you got for Christmas. The only thing worse than wearing clothing picked out by your grandmother (or sometimes mother) is not having the new clothes to wear that day.

So, for the perfect gift for your child, pick out one nice shirt that you can wrap and put under the tree. Then, to be a really cool parent, include a minor "back to school" shopping spree. This doesn't have to be expensive, $50-$75 is a good range, especially for after Christmas sales. And, don't be heart-broken if the item you choose for your child has nothing to do with what she wants to wear. It may be that she just can't admit to you that she likes it, or if you're like my mother was, it may be that you have no idea what kids her age are wearing. Either way, letting her pick out her own things on a pre-set budget can accomplish two things - letting her see what her things really cost, so she'll appreciate them more, and forcing her to decide what items are her priority.

Lotion. At this age, every girl is trying to be more grown up and almost every mom is trying to resist. So, a nice scented lotion, and maybe a matching bubble bath, will encourage the hygiene and grown-up feeling that your daughter is looking for without the heavy perfumes and makeup that can wait just a few more years.

Bath & Body Works always has a Christmas scent available, with the lotion and bubble bath together for about $25. Or, find one of their classic scents. The store usually sticks to body sprays, so the scents are usually fairly neutral and light. If you're afraid that she won't like the Christmas scents, try the "Warm Vanilla Sugar" or "Moonlight Path". Both are light feminine scents that won't make mom star sneezing.

The real key to picking out presents for your tweener daughter is to look at her as a mini-version of you, minus the job and the stress. Chances are she'll like the same things you would - a day of pampering and a good book.