Time for Me to Be Healthy

My husband was in a variety of hospitals from July 1 to Thanksgiving because of acute pancreatitus. We'd just eaten supper and he became very ill. I believe God helped me dial 911 and from then on my life was never the same.

They told us he would not live. But determination, faith and excellent care proved them wrong. I spent nearly 5 months of my life at those hospitals helping him fight for his life. He was courageous and seldom complained.

He came home after struggling within a coma in ICU, then needing rehab for his entire body and two surgeries with several drains and a feeding tube. It was good, but truly I didn't know if I'd be able to actually give shots, connect the tube properly and manage the drains and other needed care. He could not eat any real food.

This is when I really prayed for help for myself. Knowing it was necessary to stay healthy both physically and mentally to care for him, I had to set goals for myself. At the same time, I had to let go of some things I'd always done.

Because he couldn't eat, I felt guilty when I fixed foods that smelled so tasty. Quickly he assured me that the smells really didn't even bother him. He was not hungry. That is when I began to shop and plan meals that would be healthy and nutritious. Snacking was not going to cut it.

Those hospital corridors provided great walking paths and I did walk many steps. Sometimes problems were worked out as I walked. Now I wanted to exercise but not leave him alone. Quickly we both learned that just taking care of him gave me lots of bending and stretching times. It was winter time, so my exercise was adapted to inside the home. It was enough.

One thing that hit us both quickly was that suddenly we were quite alone much of the time. Of course we appreciated the privacy after being in the hospital system for so long, but it was too much. I handled that with lots of phone calls, visits from kids and grandkids and email. The home care people really quizzed me if I was staying healthy mentally. Guests were great, but some days were bad. We didn't even get out of our pajamas.

Our youngest daughter was getting married in March. My husband's goal was to walk her down the aisle. As soon as he was able, we'd go for short walks. When someone is ill, even very simple things take much extra time and energy. The caregiver indeed gets a good workout.

After several months I'd take him to work for awhile as we owned our own business. I hung around because he'd tire and get stressed very, very easily. Things improved but our lives were changed forever.

Besides exercise, eating properly and having a great family/friend situation, my faith had been tested. I know without prayers and visits from our pastor this entire time would have been unbearable. God helped me learn so much. He pushed me to track things and to watch the people who came into the room. He put questions in my mind and gave me strength to deal with the bad days. Because of that help, my faith grew daily.

I learned to reach out more to help others. Many people don't know what to say to the very ill or those who are near death. They also don't know what to say to the family - and - often don't say anything. You learn that things are not totally unpleasant and that most people are so good. You also learn that you must play the game and sometimes that is almost impossible.

I made it through that time of my life. Not because of myself, but because so many came forward to help me, push me, pull me and walk beside me. Most people cannot understand. My husband, thankfully, never remembered those long, dark and terrible hospital days.

When someone tells me their hospital story, I remember. And sometimes I can even help them. That is one of the blessings of my story.