Time and Unforeseen Occurrences Chapter Five

I didn't mention to Jacob before we went to bed what Monique had done. He would have been worried, as much if not more than me. He really loves Monique, he has even tried to find positive things to say about Miles which I know is hard to do even for Jacob who find find the good in anybody. The only positive thing I can think to say about Miles is that he makes some beautiful babies at least the two that I have and seen and know about.

Monique would never tell me what's going on in her life, She and Jacob talk a lot, and she keeps Quincy up on everything but they only reveal to me what I need to know. Jacob knows how I feel about giving money to Monique to help her with bill that she and Miles created. I wouldn't mind helping her with bills if she would just leave Miles and get herself together. Jacob doesn't feel the same way because he is always sneaking her a few dollars here and there. I don't mind. I'm really grateful for anything he wants to do for my daughter. He was the same way with my mother before she died. Jacob and I were only friends before she died, but she told me a few days before her death that she wasn't worried about Monique or me because I had Jacob in my life. I told her that, "Jacob and I are just friends." She ignored me completely and kept talking about other things. Well momma knows best, she already knew that Jacob was the best thing for me. After she died, we were married Jacob admitted he had asked my mother about a year before she died for permission to marry me.

It's morning and I'm laying in bed tossing and turning. Jacob turns in bed to face me. "Okay Zee what's going on, what is on your mind, you've been tossing and turning and kicking me all night long."

I sit up in bed and bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. "I wasn't totally truthful to you or the boys about how Monique is doing." I start to cry and not just a little, what I've been holding inside me so tight finally comes out, I feel like a dam that finally burst after it's first leak. Jacob puts his powerful strong arms around me and I sink into his chest. "Monique tried to kill herself yesterday with some sleeping pills and liquor. My baby tried to take her own life. Jacob why would she do that to herself, what if her kids had found her? I had just talked to her the night before to remind her I was going shopping with the boys. She had asked me to pick the boys up at school instead of home. Jacob I never knew she was in so much pain."

Jacob didn't say anything he seemed to be in shock. Jacob is still holding me and I squirm out of his arm. Suddenly I feel like I could really use a drink. I slide to the side of my bed and my feet and legs are dangling off the side of the bed. Jacob gets off the bed from his side and walks over to my side of the bed and looks down at me.

"Zee it's obvious that Monique is in a lot of pain to want to do something as drastic as taking her own life, don't you think it's time she knew the truth about everything?"

I jump off the bed and walk away from Jacob, "No she doesn't need to know the truth, and what good is that going to help? The fact is life got a little hard, and instead of handling her problems face on, she decided to take the easy way out. She needs to learn that life isn't going to be easy and you have to learn to roll with the punches."

Jacob became angry, something he hardly ever does. "Like you did Zee, were you always the strong person you appear to be now, or did you have to have help to be able to cope, do I have to remind you where you came from Zee?"

I am surprised at the attitude that Jacob is getting. "Why are you so angry, she needs to learn that life is hard. She needs to learn to deal with it. Jacob I want better for my daughter than I had, why can't she get it together? One day I will not be here to clean her mess up, I will be leaving her with a lot of money and responsibility to go with it. She's need to get stronger instead of weaker, she has been going down hill ever since Mother died."

"Zee listen to yourself, have you always been strong, dealt with everything life has handed you with a sword and armor? You present yourself as this woman who has it all together, you present yourself this way to your daughter. She has you so high on a pedestal and she feels like there is no way of reaching you up there. Why can't you let your daughter see your vulnerable side. Maybe this is Monique's way of finally getting your attention."

"Jacob she's a grown woman with children of her own, you make her sound like a child. Why should she still be worrying about her mommy, when she's a mother herself? You see how she treats me, she only talks to me when I talk first, we never have a decent conversation. Maybe the two of you are closer, it's you she runs to when she has a problem."

"Zee just don't approach this with Monique like you do everything else. It's time you two got to really know each other. The relationship you two have is sad, and if she had died yesterday, there is so much that you two would have left unsaid. Please think about what I'm saying."

As I was getting ready to give Jacob a reply my two little men ran into the room.

"Granny Zee we want to talk to mommy, have you talked to her yet?" Jonathan asked. He is always the one dong the talking for the both of them. It was obvious Marcus looked up to his big brother.

I bend down and hold my arms out and both run into each of my open arms. "No but I'm pretty sure that I will talk to her very soon. Now why don't you two go upstairs and make up your beds and straighten up a little bit, and I'll do the same down here in my bedroom. Then we will meet up in the kitchen for breakfast. Okay?"

"Okay granny," and they run back out as fast as they ran in.

I finish making up the bed and I head toward our bathroom and the phone rings. Jacob yells that the phone is for me. I ask who it it. He yells to me that it's Monique. My stomach gets a knot in it. I finally get my nerve up. When I pick up the phone I whisper "hello."

Monique sounds good, she tells me she's fine and gives me a phone number where I can reach her, and give me a number 2694 to use when asking for her. She tells me that she didn't need any clothes because Miles had already been by with some. But as usual it wasn't all cordial, like always my mouth gets the best of me, and I said some things that I regretted the minute they came out of my mouth. She wanted me to kiss the boys and to let them call her tonight. The conversation was over quickly and I wished that I had said something like "I love you," before she hung up, but we never said things like that to each other.

I glance at the clock beside my bed which said 9:30. I got into the bathroom and get washed up and I splash water on my face, I realize that my hands are shaking. Why does talking to my daughter always leave me so upset? I then remember something Jacob said earlier during our conversation, "Don't you think it's time Monique knew the truth?" "No" I shake my head as I look at the reflection in the mirror "learning the truth about her parents won't change or solve the problem that she's dealing with." I then slip my feet into my bedroom slipper then I put on my robe and went to the kitchen to help Jacob prepare breakfast.

"Jonathan and Marcus run into the kitchen in their bare feet. "You guys need to stop running before someone gets hurt, where are your robes and slippers that I gave you two?"

"Upstairs in the bedroom," Jonathan answers.

"Well you two go right back upstairs and get your robes and bedroom slippers." They look at each other and run back upstairs.

I look at my grand boys and I can't believe that I almost didn't get to know them. Once again my anger with Monqiue was preventing me from thinking clearly. I was angry with her because instead of finishing College, she chose to drop out her junior year to become a wife and a mother. I felt like she was ruining her whole life and if she chose to be stupid, then I would have no part of it. I refuse to be at the wedding that she had in my mother's back yard. I heard rumors that Jacob gave her away, but I never asked him about it, and he never volunteered any information except to say that Monique made a beautiful bride. I refuse to be at the birth of either children but Jacob was there showing support. Whenever he tried to talk to me about the kids I wouldn't listen.