Tipping in America

For the past month I've been doing research and talking to waiters and waitresses to find out how they fair when it comes to tips. In my research I found that waiters and waitresses (I'm going to refer to them as servers to make this easier) earn an average of $2.50 an hour from their employers and earn the rest of their income from tips.

I also found out that a lot of restaurants require the servers to "tip out" which is the term used to describe the server's act of giving part of their earned tips (usually a certain percentage is required) to bus boys, the host/hostess and bartender. I found that the average required percentage for "tipping out" is 5%.

As I'm sure you all know the range of percentage of your check that should be left for the server is 15% - 20%. Based on the interviews I did in order to write this I found that what people are actually leaving is a lot less. Between 5% and 10% on average. Is this low tipping/no tipping trend based on poor service, or is it just based in basic human greed? Here are some of the stories I gathered from those I interviewed.

Story 1: Name With-held server at a Virginia Restaurant
"I was working a double shift which means 12 hours of working on Saturday which tends to be the busiest day of the week. This day was exactly that. I work the smoking section so I tend to get the most customers in my section. Towards the end of my shift a group of customers came in, and based on the fact that they called shrimp "skrimp" I could tell they were going to be a handful.

My entire section was packed with people, but as always I was able to get food and drinks to my customers in a timely fashion as well as have a smile on my face. The new customers, however, were very needy. If they saw me talking to another table of customers longer than they liked they'd start waving in my direction and getting rude. Even though I was just taking more requests from my other customers.

The new customers expected me to bring all their food and drinks at once. They demanded I pay attention to them and no one else. If I was even one second later than they wanted in bringing them items they would cop an attitude with me. I have had customers like this before so I just smiled and kept working. After they finished their food they decided they wanted to drink alcohol so they started ordering drinks. They even got angry when I wrote down their drink orders.

I guess they felt I needed to remember every single mixed drink they ordered as well as the changes they requested I make to those drinks. Their entire check was $150.00 and they split it. Something they didn't tell me they wanted to do until AFTER they asked for their check. When I brought their check that's when they requested I split it. They wanted $85 on one check and $65 on the other.

I brought them their checks and they insisted I wait there until they had their money ready for me. Even though I had other customers waiting for items as well. I tried to explain that I needed to take care of some other customers and I'd be right back but they refused to let me leave. It didn't take too long though to get the money from them so it wasn't so bad, it was just rude. The guy with the $85 check gave me a $100 bill and asked for $10 back. He said I could keep the rest. A Whopping $5.

I was hoping the other guy would make up for it, but instead he left me nothing. Nada, zilch, zip. As they were leaving they bragged about going to the liquor store to spend a hundred bucks before they head over to a friend's house to party. They have another hundred to spend but can't give me a 15% tip? When checks are split at a table I don't mind if each person gives less than 15% in tips so long as the combined tip amount is close to 15%. That's not so bad to me.

Instead for a $150 table I got a 3.5% tip (roughly). I have to tip out 2% which I split amongst the bartender, hostess and bus boy. I don't understand how I'm supposed to afford to live on $2.13 an hour plus tips. I love being a waitress, but it's people like them that make me hate it at times. Servers can't live off of 15% anymore, and 20% is considered a decent tip by society standards, and some nights I luck out and get 15% or more for each table I tend to.

Those nights are great and really help me keep up on bills and rent. If you can't afford a 15% tip or more then don't go out to eat at places that the servers live off of tips. It's just that simple. I know the economy sucks really and a lot of people are having trouble getting by. But if you have the money to go to a restaurant to eat you should have the money to tip.

One guy left me no tip after sitting there with his girlfriend and bitching about how tight money was. How he wished his employers would give him a raise already so he could have more money. I guess he didn't realize that I live off of tips and by not leaving a tip he lowered my salary for the day. Or maybe he knew and just didn't really care."

Story 2: Cassie T. - Server at Apple bee's in Michigan
"This is kind of a small town so I don't really get screwed on tips, but there's always those people from big cities who pass through and really screw us over. The worst one was in July this year a Christian group had a tour bus they were driving around the US for the summer. They wanted to see America and soak in the culture.

There were about 40 people on that bus and they took over the entire restaurant. They were all very kind and they were a real pleasure to serve. About 20 of them just got a bowl of soup and the salad bar. The rest ordered full entrees, appetizer's and dessert. The total tally for their combined checks was $1,145.52. That's an average of $28.64 a person. I remember the exact amount of their combined check because I had never seen a bill that high and haven't since.

As I was clearing tables I saw that the people were all slipping what looked like twenty dollar bills under the salt and pepper shakers on their tables. I was glad to see they were all leaving a tip for me and the bus boys. They all left in a group and climbed in their bus. After they had pulled out of the parking lot I helped the bus boys clean up the tables. That's when we began collecting the tips. We grabbed them all up.

When we took a good look at all the bills they left behind we discovered that it wasn't real money they left. In fact not a single table those people had occupied had real money on it. All the bills instead had a picture of Jesus where the President goes and the words "Jesus Loves You and thanks you for your service" on it. I was furious! Those people had totally stiffed all of us. They had kept our entire restraint busy for three hours. We had no room for other customers while they were there.

They spend over a grand on food and drinks. They left the place a total mess that took almost an hour to clean up. All I could think about was how nice they'd been and how genuine they seemed. Then they stiffed us all. We should have received at least a $200 tip which is roughly 15% of the combined total. Which is roughly $5 per person. How hard is it to leave $5 behind? Well that's my worst experience in bad tipping."

Story 3: Andrew - Server at a 5 Star Restaurant in New York City
"We get a lot of celebrities in our restaurant as well as a lot of politicians. So tips are usually good, but on occasion you get those who feel they don't need to leave a tip at all. Those are the worst. I prefer not to give names on what celebrities, socialites or politicians have stiffed me in the past but I'll gladly share some tales.

One celebrity who stiffed me greatly is very famous these days for her wreck less behavior as well as her rudeness. She was actually rather polite to me for a little while at least. Then as she became more and more drunk she got rude. Talking about how I was lower class and how I should feel lucky to be in her presence at all. I just kept on smiling, and that seemed to make her more angry.

She didn't like that I wasn't becoming hurt or upset by her words. I was, on the inside, but I shrugged it off as a professional should. She ended up spending over $500 on alcohol alone. She spent about $100 on food, but that's not really a lot since most meals in the restaurant cost $100 a plate. There's really not a lot on those plates either, but that's the cost of 5 star cuisine.

After insulting me some more and sending six $200 bottles of Champagne to other tables for friends of hers she paid her bill and left without leaving me a dime. Her bill was a whopping $1800.00 and she left me nothing after taking up 4 hours of my time and demanding I serve no one else while she was there. It wasn't the first or last time she'd done that to a server in that restaurant. Thankfully she is banned from the restaurant now.

A political once came in and spent $4500.00 on food and drinks for him and 12 guests. He paid out of his campaign fund even though all of his guests were family. He will never get my vote nor the votes of anyone in that restaurant. He also left no tip. Now I have shared a couple stories of bad tippers but here's one of a good tipper. This actor is much beloved by many and while he doesn't spend a lot on food he spends a lot on tips.

He likes to tip everyone even those who don't usually get tipped (the chef for example). The last time he came in I was his server and he spent $200 on food for himself and a guest and left a $400 tip for me. He also gave out almost a grand in tips to bus boys, the hostess and the chef who always cooks his steak the way he likes it. I wish more famous people were like him, but I always feel weird for accepting the huge tip as I don't feel it's deserving to get a tip larger than 20% - 25%."

So we've heard some very interesting recounting of some experiences with tips that servers have had. And we've heard one good experience. I interviewed 20 people and of them all only one had a good story to share. All of them had several experiences with bad tips or no tips. It makes me question my tipping methods. I once left a penny for a server who was exceedingly rude to me, and who had split drinks on me all night. I still feel bad about it to this day.

But I feel I was justified. Never have I had someone be so rude to me as a customer, and I felt she didn't even deserve the 10% "your service wasn't great" tip. In the course of an hour and a half she split four glasses of tea, 2 cups of coffee and a glass of rum and coke on me. I was soaked by the end of the night. The manager didn't even offer to comp our meal! The server couldn't explain why she kept spilling drinks on me.

She blamed it on the carpet but after the first spillage I changed seats with a friend and she still spilled drinks on me. Plus other servers had managed to walk by with trays of drinks without spilling them on me. The final straw was when the server spilled spaghetti on my friend. An entire plate of piping hot spaghetti all over her lap. Luckily she had her napkin in her lap which caught most of the spill.

If she'd worn the dress she had planned to wear it'd not only be ruined but she'd have serious burns on her legs. We refused to pay our bill and the manager called the cops on us. After hearing the tale the cop told us to leave and he dealt with the manager. I've never gone back to that place and neither have my friends. I've never had such poor service at a restaurant before. I've had other bad experiences, but nowhere near that bad. In other bad experiences I've left no less than 10% as a tip.

For Good service I leave 15%, for Great service I leave 20% and for Excellent service I leave 25%. I once left a 30% tip for a particularly extraordinary service experience. The guy was not only sexy but he was very kind as well. He seemed to know my tastes in drinks and food. I even left a 10% tip for the chef as he got my steak perfect the first time around which doesn't always happen at Ruby Tuesday's.

I encourage all of you to give 15% every time you dine out somewhere that requires tips. And don't forget to remember the 15% rule when having food delivered to your home. Delivery drivers have to carry extra insurance on their vehicles in order to work as Delivery drivers at all. So it's even harder for them to make ends meet so don't hold back on the tips. If you have trouble figuring out what 15% of your total bill is then check your cell phone. A lot of cell phones have tip calculators in them as well as a regular calculator. If not then a simple rule of thumb is for every $20 you spend leave behind $3.00.