Tips for Adapting to Life in the United States

Coming from a different country and adjusting to life in the United States can be emotionally difficult. To help understand common challenges people have when trying to adapt to the United States and for tips on adapting to life in the US, I have interviewed psychologist Dr. Madeleine Boskovitz.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I am a psychologist in private practice in Houston, Texas. I have a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston, and two Master's Degrees from the University of California, at Berkeley, and the University of Cincinnati. I currently have my own private practice where I see children, adults, couples and families. I specialize in mood disorders and anxiety. I have offered a lecture to theRice University Counseling Center to point out to difficulties in adaptation foreign students may experience in adapting to life in the US. I also offer adaptation workshops and counseling for French-speaking adult professionals and families that come to the US."

What are some common challenges people have when trying to adapt to the United States?

"People often believe that they know the US because they have seen American movies and TV shows, have heard American music, have tasted American beverages, such as colas. Then, as they arrive here and come to realize how different the culture is in the United States, they are often overwhelmed by the challenges. They may know English but it doesn't mean that they understand the different accents in the US or the different casual expressions. In addition to experiencing a new language, they also experience new customs, new everyday life rhythms, new foods and dishes, new shopping habits, new weather, even new seasons. The strangeness of a new place can be very trying for some and reactions can range from severe home-sickness to depression, sometimes suicidal behavior when the challenge is too great.

What are some tips for adapting to life in the United States?

"The most important preparation is to anticipate difficulties, to expect that the challenge may be very great at times, that it takes time to get used to a new life. The first weeks can be very trying and one needs to remember to just keep going and the new world will not seem so new after a couple of weeks. However, any major life change takes a considerable amount of time to be thoroughly effected. Psychologists generally consider that two years is the time it takes to adapt to the point of comfort, either to a new language, a new lifestyle, a new status, or a new culture, which includes food and customs.

Another important way to face the challenges of adaptation is to maintain the Golden Rule. Moderation is the key: you do not have to know a new language immediately; you do not have to accept the new customs all at once. Most important, you do not have to abandon your previous lifestyle in order to adapt to America. For some, immersion in the new culture is the best way to adapt but for many others, there is a need to maintain the old culture as well. When arriving in the US, some well-intentioned parents forbade their children the use of any language other than English, in order to foster a quicker adaptation. This often created both excessive pressure and anxiety for children as well as the loss of the earlier language and culture. It is likely that achieving a balance combining the old and the new cultures can be healthier. At the other extreme, a refusal to adapt to the new culture, maintaining the old language in the home to the exclusion of English can also create difficulties for those involved.

Some immigrant families choose to live in areas with similar immigrants or foreigners. This can be very helpful in providing emotional support but the downside is that it can delay acculturation, adapting to the new culture. For expatriates or those here only temporarily, it is often useful to live in the expat or student community and to share experiences and support with others undergoing a similar experience. All in all, adaptation is a complex process and every one needs to find his or her balance when facing that challenge."

What type of professional help is available for someone who is having a difficult time adapting to the United States?

It is often difficult for people to seek help. Many foreign cultures consider it weak or shameful. Even in this culture, asking for help is often seen as a sign of weakness. However, there are sources of support and help.

The first line of help is to assist with practical adaptation. There are many language courses available for foreigners to learn English. Those courses will also automatically expose students to American customs and culture, as well as provide a supportive milieu common to all participating.

Another source of help is often a religious establishment or community center that offers support and help in the original language. Providing a community is often enough support. However, if needed, these resources could also assist with counseling help both on site and with referrals.

Finally, psychologists and other therapists can be very helpful when one is in distress, experiencing depression, isolation, and more severe symptoms such as psychosis and suicidal thoughts. Recognizing such distress can be very difficult and the language barrier can be enormous. Psychotherapy is the first choice to help with adaptation; if depression or anxiety are too great, there are medications available to help relieve the distress. It is preferable to find a psychologist who provides therapy in one's native language and is familiar with one's culture. This is sometimes available. Other places offer translators.

I would like to offer you some information about professionals in the mental health field. Psychiatrists are physicians who specialize in medicine to manage emotional and cognitive disorders. Psychologists have the highest level of education (a Ph.D. or Psy.D.) and provide testing and counseling. Clinical Social Workers and Licensed Professional Counselors have a Master's Level education and training in counseling. There are also Marriage and Family Therapists (with Master's Degrees) and specialists in substance abuse and addiction. All of these professionals can provide counseling but only psychiatrists can prescribe medication.

Thank you Dr. Boskovitz for doing the interview on tips for adapting to the United States. For more information about Dr. Boskovitz or her work you can reach her at mgboskovitz@gmail.com or visit her website at www.mgboskovitz.com.