Tips for Beating Holiday Stress

The period between Thanksgiving and Christmas is filled with joy, visits from old friends, marathon shopping trips - -and unbridled stress. Depression rates soar when stress levels become unmanageable. Here are a few suggestions to help you get a handle on holiday stress:

- -Lower your expectations. We've all seen the Currier and Ives prints chock full of blissful, snow-filled perfection…a scene replete with families visiting one another via horse-drawn sleighs and neighbors with ear muffs and hand warmers standing at your door singing Yuletide carols.

I don't know about how it is in other parts of the country, but here in Maryland, snow can bring a holiday event to a grinding halt. Actually, rain can do it, too, but during the holiday season we count on freezing rain, ice and snow. Now as per the Currier and Ives scene, snow for the season should be a wonder to behold. Again, that's only in theory. Just because we can count on the weather, it doesn't mean we know how to deal with it. The morning after a decent snowfall, the beautiful white powder has been churned into dark brown sludge courtesy of the holiday travelers trying to get back and forth from the mall.

The moral of the story: fiction is nice, but it's still fiction. Keep your expectations reasonable and enjoy things as they are. The little things you whine about today because they put cut up that Currier and Ives scene will be the very things you will reminisce about at future holiday gatherings.

- -Keep the meaning of the season at the forefront of your mind. When you are in the malls, fighting with the grandma next door over the last Tickle Me Elmo, keep in mind that the season is not about Elmo.

Regardless of your spiritual leanings, make it a point to take back the ethereal quality the season should have. You can get caught up with griping about how the season isn't what it used to be, but the truth is, it never was that way entirely. It's a frame of mind, and entirely within your control. Take control and take away the stress. That's how it works.

- -Think of painless ways to multi task. With the advent of VCRs and DVD players, many of the holiday specials that could only be seen one time during the season are now available 24/7. When I was a child, I remember waiting for Rudolph to appear on the little screen. I vividly remember that as certain songs or scenes played, I would think to myself that I wouldn't get to see that scene or hear that song again for a whole year! Avoid the temptation of playing and replaying the holiday specials or they won't be special. Plan a special night to run a few classics while you accomplish other items on your holiday to-do list. Maybe you'll bake or decorate cookies at the same time or test out the holiday lights, always a thankless job.

As my mother in law had countless children, grandchildren, and brothers and sisters to shop for, as well as a holiday dinner to plan, I used to do marathon package wrapping sessions for her. I saved boxes in various sizes from the previous year, then wrapped the boxes while I watched a holiday classic. I helped her out, since all she had to do was pop in the present, and I got myself in the spirit of the season while watching a beloved classic.

- -Stick to your budget. Fight the urge to holiday hero in terms of spending. Holiday budgets are as important as your everyday budget, maybe even more important. How many friends do you know who get buried under debt because of bad spending habits during the holiday season? Sit down with a peer and form a sort of buddy club to help keep your spending in check.

A great way to adhere to your holiday budget is to pack your credit card away until after the holidays. It sounds drastic, but since the negative results can be with you for months after the ornaments are put away, it's a good kind of drastic.

- -Keep moving. I know this sounds ironic given that a chief complaint of the season is the hustle and its evil twin, the bustle. Exercise is a different kind of movement; however, and there is no other season when it is more essential to take time out for exercise. Neutralize the stress, or at least keep it at bay a bit, by taking a long walk with the family dog or easing into the morning with some soothing yoga stretches.

- -Relax. If you are doing the exercise routine, you should be able to slip into this tip easily. Think very physical with this one. As you are standing in one line after another, inhale and exhale deeply to cut down on muscle tension. Add in some shoulder rolls and neck stretches to counteract the seasonal nerves.

- -Don't overbook. We, especially women, are susceptible to agreeing to take on too many events. Whether it be volunteer jobs or even fun events, we tend to agree to do more than our bodies can handle. We're not robots. We wear out. Remember that with every party you agree to, every volunteer event you take on during this busy season, you take a tiny chip of health off of your life. Do you want to get to the crescendo of the holidays, only to have yourself at your lowest health state?

Then there is the enjoyment factor. Economics operates on "the law of diminishing returns." Think of it this way. You love chocolate. That first piece of chocolate brings you immense pleasure, "x" amount. By about the 5th piece of chocolate, your pleasure goes a bit down. There comes a point at which each piece of chocolate you indulge in brings you a little less pleasure than the original few. By the last few, it's downright painful, and you probably aren't gaining any pleasure.

Translate this to holiday gatherings, parties, tree lightings and the like. You may want to do each of these things or several of these things. The fact is, if you cram more than "x" number of holiday events into that one small space of time, you will end up resenting the encroachment on your space. Each item will bring you less joy, rather than more. This is definitely a case where quality trumps quantity.

I start decorating for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. It's a tradition, but it's more. I have always been the person who buys presents for people all year long, as opposed to starting Black Friday. I do that so that the week before Christmas I can spend an hour here and there, playing holiday music and drinking hot chocolate underneath my tree. It's how I unwind. Maybe I miss that one extra tree lighting, the one at the fire hall I've always meant to see. But you know, I'll live, and I'll live sipping hot chocolate under my tree as I listen to my favorite tunes and enjoy the spirit of the season.

- -Don't buy into the hype. The reason you become stressed out is because you allow it to happen. That sounds simple enough, but it is that simple. Except for that odd guy on the street, you don't see people having an argument alone. Stress can only beat you up if you make the conditions ripe.

- -If you don't have traditions, establish some. When my children were small, we lived in a country neighborhood that featured some pretty elaborate lighting extravaganzas during the holidays. On one block, two or three homes went over the top with themed displays.

As a way to pull back from the hectic nature of the season, my husband and I filled up an oversized thermos with hot chocolate, and packed up individual goodie bags with cookies we'd made for the season. Then we'd load up the kids for a ride around the neighborhood to check out the displays. We'd take turns choosing carols to sing, swig our hot chocolate and munch on the homemade cookies. We enjoyed the sights and sounds of the season, but more importantly, we enjoyed one another. And that's the best way to cut down on the stress of the season.