Tips for "being There" for Your Elderly Parents

You want to "be there" for your parents during the twilight years of their life, but maybe you just don't know how. I have a few tips that just might help you in this area.

The first step you need to take is talking to your parents and really listen to what they are saying to you.. Find out what they need and want. It is possible that they may be unwilling or unable to talk about their future. If they are not in immediate need just be patient.

If their health or safety is in jeopardy, however, you may need to step in and push the issue. If you're uncomfortable about talking to your parents, make a list of what you need to discuss. That way, you'll be less anxious.

Loneliness is the main issue that the elderly deal with. The kid's have gone on with their own lives and don't seem to have the time to spend with the aging parent. Sometimes it seems that there aren't enough hours in the day just to handle all that is on your plate. You don't have 2 seconds for yourself much less to go visit Mom and Dad.

Well, you just have to make the time to sit down and write a letter or make a phone call. As a single Mom I Had to sometimes work 2 jobs and go to school to make sure I could earn enough to provide for a decent life. I know it can be a real crunch to get everything done for the day and still have time to spend with the kids and your parents.

You try to learn to manage your time and re-prioritize so That the parents who gave life to you and sacrificed much to provide a stable loving home for you won't have to spend their later years in loneliness.

Simple things like coming by once a week to put the trash can out for pickup or calling when your going grocery shopping to see if they need anything picked up for them. It really makes a difference.

Maybe you live quite a distance from your folks. If so here are some suggestions;

1. Make a weekly scheduled phone call so your parents have something to look forward to. 2. Send cards for no reason other then to make their day. 3. E-mail is an easy way to keep in touch. 4. Send pictures of activities etc. so they can share your life in some small way. 5. Visit as often as you can. remember you won't have your parents forever.

Perhaps your parents need help managing their finances. This can be a touchy area so be sensitive when approaching this subject with them. You could ask if they would like you to help balance the check book or deal with their bill paying.

Keeping the maintenance up on the house and yard can be challenging for the elderly. this is good place to start helping because it doesn't seem as invasive as finances.

Providing transportation for the parents that no longer are able to drive can be a major help.
chances are there will be Doctor appointments that they need to get to.

I'm grateful that I made the choice to "be there" for my Mom, Because when she became very ill and needed someone to take care of her, I'm the one she called upon. My Mother died of cancer in her own home and in her own bed with The Knowledge she wasn't alone and that she was very loved. The time I spent with her is so precious in my memories and I'm with out any regrets. "Being there" for your elderly parents is as much for you as it is for them. You see, my kids were watching how I cared for my Mother and it has effected the way they interact with me. Now I'm on my way to becoming the aging parent and my own kids are willing to be here for me as I was willing to be there for my Mother. They really are watching you and learning how to treat you by the way you treat your parents.