Being the 10 year old that I was, one would have to consider what I was going through. To really love your step child, you should observe them. Keep a safe distance, but be in tuned to your step child. Never jump in there and assume your parental role. It's only fair to move slowly and "show" them that you care.
I remember when my dad remarried, we really didn't know my step mom. In fact, we only had met her once. Then after the wedding, we went back to Germany and my dad had to go to Georgia for 3 months. We were in Germany with a woman that we met once. At first it was hard, but I recall her trying her best to love us and get us to accept her.
Listen to your new step child. Remember all that they are going through emotionally and mentally. I remember that although I went through a lot of hardships and sexual abuse when I was living with my real mother, I still missed her. It was like a part of me was missing.
Allow your step child to open up and cry to you. Allow them to talk to you about their biological parent. Never make them feel that they have to chose between the two of you.
More than anything, be there for them to be a fgood listener and more than anything, a friend.
Once you have established the trust that you need for a mutual relationship, it will only grow from there. Your love will grow because you both will have understanding.
It took my (step) mom many years to establish a trusting relationship. The reason why is because there wasn't enough understanding between us. Sometimes I felt like I had to chose between her and my biological mother. Bonding with your step child(ren) may take some time, but in the long run, you will find a lasting, loving relationship with them.
Another tip to remember is to not always try to take the place of the biological parent, especially if they want to be a part of your new child's life. You don't have to take the place of that parent. In a child's heart there is plenty of room for everyone.
Published by Viktorya Hale
Katy writes interviews of authors and business owners for free. You can contact her directly at kjb0410@yahoo.com if you would like an interview. Thanks! View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentThanks for the tips. It took a while for my step kids to get used to me.
Good tips.
excellent.
Great tips. This was one of the most challenging times of my life.
I truly enjoy how well you are able to take the personal and make it universal. You have a genuine way of making your articles, such as this one, supremely relevant and compelling by simply being honest. There is some really, really good stuff in here. It was a pleasure to read.