Tips for Caring for Special Needs Children
Severe learning disabilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, and pervasive developmental delays resulted in outbursts around the home, constant arguing, and chaos.
At one point, the needs of our children were taking up to 30 hours a week of my time, and often more, while the effects of being drained emotionally lasted much longer.
Our Resources
A family psychologist attends our church and is a good listener has been one resource for over 20 years while early on our social worker who respected what we were doing with our family was another.
Books from professionals like Richard Delaney are helpful.
Support groups were useful, too.
Therapeutic behavior services (TBS) were necessary in our home.
Friends from church would come to pray with us at different times.
Individual counseling has been important for me.
Tips for Families with Special Needs Children
The term "special needs" covers a wide range so adapt the term to fit your situation. Of all the children in the United States, about 12 percent to 16 percent are considered "special needs" according to figures quoted from The Center for the Improvement of Child Caring.
Be Realistic. Don't expect your career to move full steam ahead, but keep making plans for forward progress.
Don't Blame Spouses. Husbands and wives must be careful to not blame each other for a child's problem or a career that's not promising.
Ask for Help. I discovered the more overwhelmed I became, the less I wanted to be involved in group activities like church. That's okay. But I did meet with three other men on a regular basis.
Ask for help from pastors, social workers, teachers at a child's school or others for counseling contacts, free babysitting or respite care, and look for state resources and community resources.
Stay in touch with your spouse. Learn to speak up clearly when you need attention or ask your spouse what you can do for him or her.
The Parent Project and Total Transformation are useful tools to supplement or replace other parent programs for children who have disruptive behaviors.
Act like an adult who is in charge. Don't get pulled into screaming matches with kids. Say things briefly and then walk away.
You may need help from people who are not friends. Friends may not be good listeners.
Associate with positive people who listen carefully.
Don't become negative and cynical. Become solutions-oriented.
Keep those responsible for HR decisions up-to-date on your challenges.
Research careers that allow flexibility. Attend workshops through organizations like Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE). Think like an entrepreneur.
Remind yourself of what you do well and pursue that in a renewed career. You are not a failure.
Find an attorney qualified to help with estate planning for you and your children.
Love your children. See them as worthy of your time and attention.
More from this Contributor
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How Adoptive Families can Get Mentors in Los Angeles County
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Published by Don Simkovich
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1 Comments
Post a Commentyou & your wife are really caring and generous persons..There are lots of children who needs care.. I adopted a daughter and as a single parent had difficulty in rearing her..