Tips for Celebrating Holidays with Your Autistic Child

The Holidays are a time of joy and excitement. Most people look forward to spending time with their families. If you're a parent of a child with Autism, the holidays may be overwhelming and not so much fun. This is even more so for the child who has Autism. You can still participate in traditional holiday activities with your child and your family but may need to make some adjustments to help the holidays run smoother. As the mother of three boys on the spectrum, I have learned several ways to reduce stress for the children and myself.

Give Yourself Permission To Say No

Don't feel like you have to attend every party and get together. For several years we would visit different family members on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. We no longer do this. Our philosophy is if they want to see the children and us , then they can come over to visit us. Do what feels right for you.

On Christmas day, I toss a precooked spiral ham in the oven, thaw out some rhodes rolls, and heat up frozen peas. I make the cheese potatoes the day before and also the pie (being gluten free keeps me from purchasing one). Quick and easy no fuss dinner. We open gifts early in the morning, put a fire on and then have open house for who ever wants to stop by. Try to space out the time of your visitors. Perhaps one side of your family can visit on Christmas eve and the others can visit on Christmas day.

If you do feel it is necessary to visit others, then try to plan for shorter visits. Most family members and friends will understand. If they have ever experienced one of your child's meltdowns, they may be more than eager to accommodate you.

Allow Your Child To Determine Their Level of Participation

If your child does not want to sit down with the other family members to dinner, try not to stress on this. I set a place for each of my boys. My oldest (who has Aspergers) is great at sitting through his meals although his manners could be improved. However, my youngest does not usually sit with family at all. He is usually too overwhelmed . I will usually feed him after we eat so that he does not feel stressed. He does have a seat at the table so that he can choose if he wants to particpate or not.

It helps to have music or a favorite activity to help your child be occupied while others are eating. You may even want to have a teenager or older child sit watch your child in another room ... The point here is to allow yourself to relax and be creative about what options you have. The holidays are about enjoying each and are fun if you allow yourself not to be hung up on what is proper.

Keep Routines Consistent

During the holidays, it may be challenging to keep up with routines . Do your best to stick with what your child is familiar with. If your child has a certain bedtime, it is perfectly alright to leave early and take them home for bed . If this can't be avoided, try and give your child a nap earlier in the day. Another idea that has helped me in the past is to have a bag packed with your child's favorite items and favorite foods.

Spread Out or Eliminate Activities

If you usually have a pretty hectic holiday with lot of activities , try prioritizing. Is there a way you can cut out a certain activity or maybe you can have that christmas lunch at home instead of out. You can also spread out your activities. If you usually go see two or three families in one day try seeing them over a longer period. There is no law that says you can't visit a family member a couple days before Christmas. Don't try to do it all in one day

Christmas Shopping

Going shopping at them malls can be overwhelming for your child who has autism. It is best to leave them at home with you're a family member or care giver. My husband and I used to go together with the kids and even with the both of us , we still had our hands full. The kids would be tired and crabby and my husband and I frustrated. These days, we go without the kids, another idea is to spread out the shopping as well. Or maybe do some of your shopping online.

Christmas Presents

What can be exciting for a typical child can be a nightmare for children on the spectrum. Don't expect your child to open lots of gifts with a group of adults watching for them and the flash of the cameras without having a melt down. It may be better to let them open a few on Christmas eve, a few on Christmas morning and them perhaps some later in the day. Remember that traditions can be adjusted or make new traditions.

Special Diet

Be sure to let family members and friends know if your child has food allergies. You don't want others feeding your child foods which can have toxic consequences. Not everyone may agree with your choices regarding what your child eats. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Simply let them know your child has a food allergy and leave it at that.

Remember the Meaning of Christmas

Take a deep breath and remember that the holidays are for celebrating and enjoying what we have. Don't surround yourself or your child with others who don't support this. No scrooges allowed! The holidays are a time for relaxing and being thankful for what you have. Let go of worries and struggles and enjoy your child.