Tips for Challenging School Policies

As schools grow more and more authoritarian and draconian, in their management of our children, we parents will, on occasion find ourselves in conflict with our child's school over some rule or policy. Here are a few tips to help you out. First, a schools policy is just that, the schools'policy. It is not holy writ from on high nor is it law. School policies do not carry the weight of law, no matter how much the school system may try to insinuate that they do. Keep that in mind.

Second, YOU are the child's parent and are ultimately responsible for their well being, not the school system. They do not have final say no matter how much they may like to think they do. Bear this in mind at all times when talking with any school official and never let them "get the upper hand" in a conversation. You are in charge of your child; they do not call the shots.

Third, know the law in your state and locality. Bear in mind that state law almost always supersedes local law. This may be different in some areas so check it carefully. You may need to consult an attorney but you may also find a parental rights group which is willing to help.

Fourth, do not get so involved in some petty dispute with a school administrator that you forget the most important thing here, your child. That is what this is supposed to be all about, not some petty power play between you and a minor bureaucrat.

Last, after all of the negativity, toward school officials, that I have listed here keep in mind that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. That is to say, do not charge in like the proverbial "bull in a china shop." Try being reasonable and explain your concerns to the school officials first. If at first they turn you down go to the next higher level. Chances are they will work with you when you hit the right level of management.

I once had a situation when my daughter was in middle school. All but one of her classes were in trailers outside of the school building and she had to move between classrooms, outside, every class. The school had a rule that students could neither wear coats (or jackets) nor carry umbrellas during the school day. As we were having a cool and rainy fall/winter, and my daughter was prone to getting sick, this rule was unacceptable.

I called the school office and spoke with a secretary about it. She stated that "the rules are the rules and that is it." I then asked to speak to a principle. I explained the situation to the principle who promised to look into how many children were in this boat as the school had several new trailers that year and the situation had not been brought to her attention. I did warn the principle that, whatever her decision, I would not allow my daughter to walk around outside without a coat, period, dot, end of sentence. I was adamant but civil about it. The next morning she called me back and informed me that the school was amending its' rules for students with classes in trailers. Problem solved.

I approached the school administrators in a civilized manor yet I was firm with them and my concern was addressed to my satisfaction. Had it been necessary I would have went to the school board with the problem and then considered a lawsuit but my daughter would not have walked around one day without her coat no matter what the school "rule" was. They may have tried to expel her but she would not have died of pneumonia.

Remember, the parent is responsible for the child, not the school.