Tips for Choosing Your Wedding Minister

Choosing the right minister for your wedding ceremony is one of the most important decisions you'll make. A good wedding minister can make or break your wedding. After all the planning, work, and expense of getting ready for your wedding ceremony, you don't want your wedding minister to ruin it!

I've heard many stories of problems with wedding ministers. There are those who believe they have found a captive audience for their evangelistic sermon. Other ministers have a certain way of doing weddings which they believe is the right way, and they won't bend on anything.
Here are some tips to help you make a good decision in selecting your wedding minister.

Choose a wedding minister who will let you have input into designing your ceremony. This is your wedding, not a cookie-cutter copy of everyone else's.

Choose a minister who will explain to you options for the wording of your vows. Do you want a religious or romantic emphasis? Or a mixture of both? Do you want to write your own vows?

Choose a minister who will help you involve others in your wedding if you choose. Do you want to include children, readers, or singers?

Choose a minister who will show you how to successfully blend religious traditions in the ceremony.

Choose a minister who has wedding experience. Weddings are not rocket science, but the truth is that a minister who hasn't performed very many weddings may have difficulty. He/she may leave something out, or fumble through their notes trying to find their place.

They could call you by the wrong name. The worse example I've every heard was the minister who called the groom by the bride's former boyfriend's name! Not good!

An inexperienced wedding minister might also not know what to do if something unplanned happens during the ceremony. What if a cell phone rings, or someone passes out, or a child acts out, or it starts raining? A minister who has been in at least a few weddings has seen these kinds of things and knows what to do or say to keep things moving smoothly.

Choose a minister who is personable, but will not seek the spotlight. This is your day; the minister should not be the center of attention.

Choose a minister who enjoys weddings and helps to make your special day a happy one. Not everyone enjoys weddings!

Choose a wedding minister who is a real minister. Occasionally, I'm asked if I am a real minister. This comes from a concern raised due to the Internet / mail-in ordination of ministers.

In my home state, a few years ago, Tennessee Attorney General Knox Walkup ruled that such ministers are not qualified to perform weddings in Tennessee. The Tennessean newspaper reported recently that such a minister was apprehended in Tennessee & charged with impersonating a minister.

To show how easy it is to get "ordained" online, one preacher sent in an application in the name of his dog. Yes, the dog got ordained! Dead people, death row inmates, & Saddam Hussein have also been "ordained" by such groups. In addition to "ordaining," these groups issue Masters & Doctor degrees (PhD for Phony Diploma) on demand.

Your state may allow Internet ordained ministers to perform your ceremony. Just make sure that's the case if you decide to use one as your wedding minister.