Tips on Choosing Your Wedding Party

Selecting attendants for your wedding can be highly stressful, especially if you're from a large family and you've got a wide base of friends. However, choosing a wedding party that works well together will create a fun, familiar atmosphere and will certainly make the bride and groom much more comfortable on the special day. If you're having problems selecting your wedding party because it's hard to pick among so many people then take the following tips into consideration:

Start the list with a number.

The best way to start your list is by thinking of a number. Otherwise, if you put the names down first then the number of attendants could quickly get out of hand. My recommendation is that you select somewhere between three to six attendants along with a ring bearer and a flower girl. This number depends entirely on the size of the wedding and your family. For instance, if you're having a small wedding with only 75 guests, then eight bridesmaids may be too much. Also, why complicate things even more when it's not necessary?

Also, if you're on a tight budget them you may want to consider having a smaller wedding party. Buying a wedding party gift for each one of your attendants is an important tradition to thank them for their time, energy, and money they have spent so far for your wedding. If you can't afford to buy many presents then you should consider lowering the number of your wedding party.

State the obvious selections.

Start your list by jotting down both the bride and groom's closest friends and family members that would be the first consideration when selecting attendants. These are people that you have known for years and are closest to you in your life. There should be no question about their attendance and you had them in mind all along when it comes to choosing the wedding party. However, I will warn you that choosing between friends is a very stressful task being that it may require you to talk with the ones you do not select to make sure they understand why. It's unfortunate that you have to do this, but it's often necessary. Some friends consider your decision on whether or not to select them as a testament to your loyalty to the friendship.

Filling in the other blanks.

Once you've got the easy list out of the way and you need to fill in the rest of the blanks then it's time to get down and dirty. On a separate sheet of paper, write down the names of other friends or family members that weren't in your original list. This will serve as your reserve list to fill in the gaps.

Go through the list and evaluate each name on the list. Most of these names are on equal ground and you'd be happy to have any one of these people standing beside you on the wedding day. When deciding who you're going to include evaluate them on how they will be as a wedding party member and not how close of a friend they are to you. For instance, if you know your friend or family member has a lower income then they may not be a good candidate because of the expenses involved in buying a dress or renting a tuxedo. Also, will your attendant be able to help you prepare invitations, shop for wedding dresses with you, and other hands-on activities? Does this particular individual live out of town and they'll have to travel back and forth multiple times to get tasks done? Anyone who lives out of town could have a hard time taking time from work to come for dress or suit fittings. After this evaluation you should have completed your list of the wedding party.

Stick to tradition.

Though some experts will tell you that it's not important to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I feel that it's necessary to protect the tradition of a wedding. There's no rule dictating the numbers must be equal, but if you're wanting to preserve a nice, balanced look during the ceremony and picture taking then make it equal. I also think there's a bit of symbolization by having equal numbers, as if the bride and groom in equal importance.

Other roles in the wedding.

For those who didn't make the cut, you could get them involved with your wedding through a number of different roles or parts. Some of these include the guest book attendant, greeter, program distributor, bartender, musician, etc. They may actually prefer to do this because they don't have to pay money for a dress or tuxedo!

This is great way to give your other close friends and family members a chance to be involved in your wedding and contributing to your special day. Remember, this wedding is about you and your partner. Don't worry about who you may upset with the choices because this is your day, not theirs. Good luck!