Tips for Christmas with a Loved One with Alzheimer's

Information About Alzheimer's - Alzheimer's is a form of dementia. It is a progressive brain disorder. It was named for the German physician, Alois Alzheimer. A woman he had doctored several years before died of a strange mental illness in 1906. Thus began Dr. Alzheimer's research of the unknown disease.

Scientists still have not completely pinpointed what causes Alzheimer's. They do know that age and genetics play important roles in a person's chances of developing this disease.

Alzheimer's destroys brain cells. This disorder adversely affects memory, thinking and behavioral patterns.

In the early stages of Alzheimer's people have trouble remembering recent activities and people's names. As the disease progresses people forget how to do simple daily activities. At the end people can no longer live without assistance.

My Experience With Alzheimer's

About eight years ago my Grandma started doing strange things. She lost some letters she wanted to mail. Later they were found in the freezer. She changed her cooking habits. She had problems driving and made a u-turn in the middle of town. My Grandfather faithfully cared for her in the beginning stages of the disease. As time passed, and the disorder progressed, he could no longer provide all the required care. Four years ago she moved to a nursing home. Physically, she is still living. But, her ability to function on her own mentally is gone. Alzheimer's claimed my Grandmother!

How to Celebrate Christmas with a Loved One with Alzheimer's

Grandma always made Christmas special for her family. She spent months preparing for it. She made glittering stars and gift tags out of old Christmas greetings. She made fruit cake, caramel corn, numerous kinds of cookies, fudge and dipped candies. The sweets were stored and served in various sized, antique tins. When family or other visitors stopped by they were served some of those goodies. Now, we as a family try to make Christmas and other holidays special for Grandma.

My parents pick Grandma up (at the nursing home) and take her to their house when the family is together. Even though Grandma no longer knows what she is eating, we make food that she would have made for family gatherings. It is getting harder to take Grandma out. Her confusion increases when she leaves her familiar surroundings. She has difficulty getting in and out of a vehicle even with assistance. Plus, it is challenging to help with some of her personal needs. Usually she is with us for three to four hours over our main meal of the day.

The nursing home where my Grandma lives has a special dining hall called, The Garden Place. Sometimes our family will make a meal, take it to the home and eat in this kitchenette with Grandma. Of course, we make arrangements with the nursing and kitchen staff in advance. This seems to work better for Grandma because she is in familiar surroundings. The nursing staff is able to assist if help is needed.

Most nursing homes allow family members to eat a meal with the resident they are visiting. Obviously, the kitchen staff needs to know before meal time so they can prepare an extra plate of food for you. At the home where my Grandma lives there is a small fee for the meal. Some of my family takes this venue when spending time with Grandma.

Grandma long ago forgot our names. But, she seems to realize we are someone she should know. When I talk about my family members I tend to point at them. Hopefully, if only for the moment, she will know who I am talking about.

My Grandma tends to ask the same questions over and over again. This is a normal for someone with Alzheimer's. It is best to simply answer the question and act like nothing unusual happened. Yes, you may answer the same question five times. Do not ignore them--they will keep asking.

My Grandma loves music. She never ceases to amaze me. She does not know my name or what happened ten minutes ago. But, she can sing. She would not be able to sing on her own. But, if someone puts a CD or DVD in the player she will sing along. She knows the words by heart! Granted they are old songs she knew as a child, but she still recalls those words. A year and a half ago my Grandpa was in the hospital for an extended period of time. Grandma was extremely upset because 'that man' did not come visit her. She knew something was wrong, but could not pinpoint the problem. We started playing music and she would soon relax and sing along. Experiment with playing soft music or old hymns for your loved one.

Do not ask your loved one a lot of questions. They do not comprehend well enough to form answers. I often share stories about my daily activities and what my children are doing. If there is a break in conversation she will ask me a question. I will answer her question. Then, I tell her another story. Then, she asks the same question over again. I answer her question again. Then, move on to another story. Have patience with your loved one in this condition. They are not trying to be difficult.

I have accepted the fact that Grandma will not get better. That her days of leading a productive, quality filled life are past. It makes me sad. I love her and hope that she somehow senses that love. I intend to keep visiting her and answering the same questions over and over. Nothing makes her happier than when I bring my children along. She seems to connect with children. So, keep visiting your loved one and if you have children or grandchildren take them along.

Enjoy the upcoming holiday with your loved one with Alzheimer's.