Tips for Controlling Jealousy and Saving Your Marriage

Do you or your spouse have jealous tendencies? Do you often feel jealous or experience unreasonable jealousy when it comes to your spouse? If you answered "yes", then your "so-called" normal tendencies may actually wedge a gap between you and your spouse and destroy your marriage. And, for those of you that aren't quite sure what jealousy is, jealousy is the reaction of perceived threat that could be real or imagined to a valued relationship or its quality. In a nationwide survey jealousy has been indicated as a major issue in one of three failed marriages.

Now, keep in mind that although we all feel jealous at times, too much jealousy, especially in a marital relationship can actually decrease communication and erode trust. If you're a spouse that is experiencing jealousy in your marriage, there are several things that you can do to control it. In this article, I will provide you with tips for controlling jealousy and saving your marriage. Let's begin.

Know the fundamentals. If you are aware of the jealousy issue and treat it correctly, you can definitely overcome it. In fact, if jealousy is treated correctly, it can lead to a better relationship. Here's why - when you feel jealous you are dealing with some self esteem and trust issues. You don't have confidence in yourself, your mate and your relationship. Understanding and dealing with the issue can lead to increased self awareness and a greater relationship. By admitting to your spouse that you have jealous feelings and that it is hurting your marriage, you can put an end to the feelings. In most instances, your spouse will appreciate your honesty and will even work with you to alleviate such feelings altogether.

Don't keep your feelings hidden. Always discuss the roots of your jealousy and why you believe that you feel the way that you do. Discuss your insecurities and talk about ways you can strengthen your relationship. Make a commitment to change your behavior. Understand that you can't control other people and that you can only control yourself. Discuss ground rules that you and your spouse can live with. For instance, let's say you're jealous because your spouse hangs out with coworkers of the opposite sex every Friday. Well, in this instance, you both might set up a rule that says that this is not acceptable and that this type of behavior should cease.

Get help. If you find that you absolutely can't handle the jealousy feelings, you may need to seek professional help. Many marital counselors can provide you with relationship advice and techniques to alleviate jealousy and control jealous tendencies. After all, obsessive jealousy that is not controlled can be a serious matter that some people take for granted .

In conclusion, if you want to save your marriage before it ends, you must get in control of your jealousy by knowing the fundamentals, not keeping your feelings hidden, and getting help. By doing this, you can control your jealousy and save your marriage.