Tips for Coping with Loneliness After Divorce

Recovering from divorce can be a difficult time period where most people typically experience feelings of loneliness. To help understand what creates feelings of loneliness after divorce and for tips on coping with loneliness after divorce, I have interviewed therapist Tamara Auger, MA, LPCC, CMT, NCC, BCPC.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I'm a Licensed Professional Clinical Mental Health Counselor, as well as a Certified Master Therapist. I've been in the mental health field for over 26 years, and have had a successful private practice in Albuquerque for the last 21 years. In my practice I specialize in working with women on a variety of issues such as depression, anxiety, relationships, life transitions, parenting, etc. I am certified as a National Board Certified Counselor, and I am very honored to have been selected as an expert contributor for JustAnswer.com, as well as to be regularly featured in the Sage Magazine supplement of the Albuquerque Journal."

Other than a loss of a relationship what are some other causes that can make someone feel lonely after divorce?

"Divorce is difficult for a number of reasons, and loneliness is certainly at the top of the list. Aside from losing the companionship of one's spouse, there are numerous other losses that can accompany a divorce and contribute to feelings of loneliness. People can lose friends, family, children, colleagues, and even beloved pets, in a divorce. The loss of any relationship can cause feelings of loneliness, but these feelings are exacerbated when there is more than one relationship lost at a time. People can also feel lonely because they tend to isolate themselves after a divorce. Whether out of fear of being judged or criticized, or from feeling like a failure. So the reality is that divorce actually does create loneliness, and our reactions to it can cause that loneliness to be worse."

What are some tips for coping with loneliness after divorce?

"First and foremost, I would say that it is important to not isolate yourself, even though that is what you might feel like doing. Isolation can contribute to feelings of depression and loneliness, and makes it harder to move through the grieving process. Find someone to talk with about how you are feeling. Find people to do things with, just so you don't have to be alone all the time. Stay as busy and active as possible. Make yourself go to work every day, take people up on their invitations to do things, get a cat or a dog or something to give your attention to. Don't turn to substances to try to deal with your feelings because that will only make things worse."

What type of professional help is available for someone that is having a difficult time coping with loneliness after divorce?

"Most mental health professionals (i.e. psychologists, psychotherapists, and counselors) are trained to help people with the issues surrounding divorce. Typically, good old-fashioned 'talk therapy' will be enough to help most people get back on track and work through their feelings of loneliness. If the loneliness is more severe, however, and there is significant depression as a result, there are also anti-depressant medications that can be used on a short term basis to help people get through this difficult transition."

Thank you Tamara for doing the interview on tips for coping with loneliness after divorce. For more information on Tamara Auger or her work you can check out her website on abqwomenscounseling.com.

Recommended Readings:

How to Handle Divorce Anger

Helping Your Child Through Divorce and Separation

Recovering from Divorce