Tips for Coping with a Spouse's Sexual Dysfunction

Are you having a difficult time dealing with your spouse's sexual dysfunction? Are you unsure as to why your spouse has a sexual dysfunction and what you could do to cope? To help understand how you can cope with your spouse's sexual dysfunction and what type of help is available, I have interviewed psychologist Dr. Fran Peek Ryan.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I am a licensed Ph.D. level psychologist with 28 years of experience in private practice. I use a cognitive/behavioral approach to helping clients live more fulfilling, happier lives.

My specialties include individual, couples and family therapy, with expertise in marriage and family systems, alcohol and drug issues, sexual dysfunction and human sexuality, sexual abuse, dissociative disorders and affective disorders. I am also a certified eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) professional."

What type of impact can a spouse's sexual dysfunction have on the marriage?

"Obviously, dysfunction can have varying degrees of impact on a couple. It is always a couples issue, and the level of dysfunction and the health of the relationship are determining factors in the effect one partner's dysfunction can have on the partner.

If the dysfunction is a new issue and transitory for instance, loss of libido after the birth of a child the effect on the marriage can be minimal. If, on the other hand, there is a complete loss of libido and no interest in reviving desire, this is a long-term problem and can be devastating to the relationship.

The functional spouse can feel rejected and may need help dealing with the situation. If the couple's issues are not addressed, great marital discord can result, which could lead to a distant/cold relationship or even separation and divorce."

What are some tips for coping with a spouse's sexual dysfunction?

"Communication and active listening skills are essential in dealing with any discord, be it marital or any other type of relationship. It's also advisable to forego preconceived notions about the motives for the spousal dysfunction without checking them out directly.

If a spouse is feeling rejected or shut out by a partner, the rejected spouse must first do an internal check to be certain he or she is reading the situation correctly. Assess the facts. If, after this inventory, it is still perceived as sexual dysfunction, effective communication is the next step. This means concerns must be voiced and then the person who is perceived to have a dysfunction must be allowed to respond. There needs to be an active dialogue about the subject. The rejected spouse needs to show loving concern for the health of the spouse, asking for suggestions about how to help. Next, he or she must reveal how he or she feels because of the lack of sexual interaction.

There are many reasons for sexual dysfunction: childhood sexual abuse, rape, illness, medicine, disinterest because of marital discord, and so on. The initial component in the resolution of the dysfunction is mutual desire to change the situation and have a healthy physical relationship."

What type of professional help is available for a couple that is having problems in their marriage because of a spouse's sexual dysfunction?

"Again, this response is contingent upon what kind and level of dysfunction is presenting. A person experiencing loss of desire because of a hormonal change (male or female) needs a medical doctor to obtain a prescription.

For the individual experiencing psychological issues that are blocking an appropriate sexual desire, there are many good psychologists and licensed sex therapists that specialize in this area. It's important for the person seeking help to check the credentials and specialties of a potential therapist and to interview the therapist prior to beginning the therapy to check for a good therapist/client fit. Not every client is going to be comfortable with every therapist, but it's important to establish trust and get help in achieving / restoring a fulfilled quality of life for both spouses.

In some situations, lack of desire is a result of marital discord and can often be resolved with the spiritual leadership of a minister, rabbi or other religious leader with whom the couple is comfortable."

Thank you Dr. Ryan for doing the interview on tips for coping with a spouse's sexual dysfunction. For more information Dr. Fran Peek Ryan or her work you can check out her website on www.psychologytoday.com or her blog at http://drfranryan.wordpress.com .

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http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5644514/increasing_your_sexual_activity_in.html?cat=5">Increasing Your Sexual Activity in Marriage

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