Tips for Couples Embattled in Thermostat Wars

The husband is hot, wife is cold. Sometimes, it's the other way around. Either way, how does an otherwise happy couple deal with polar opposite preferences on temperature?

The condition has been going on in my house for years. Arguments arise between my husband and me over just about everything that affects temperature at home. How do we resolve it? He controls the thermostat, while I have a large collection of wool sweaters and socks. We also sleep under a Mount-Everest-rated down quilt.

Yield on the thermostat

A compromise we reached early on is to turn down the heat in the daytime, with even lower temperatures at night. You may be wondering how this works for me, the one with ice water in my veins.

Our wombat, digital, programmable, four-decimal-place thermostat takes a PhD to operate. The hubby has one of those, but I don't, making it impossible for me to change the settings should I even think of departing from my side of that bargain. You can see how easy it was for me to give up control of the thermostat.

Besides, the guys like control of the controls, like the TV remote. Add thermostats to that fetish.

Nothing but wool

I have several ways to cope with what feels like wintry weather in the house. Already mentioned are the warm woolen sweaters and socks. As anybody like me with basal body temperature a degree below normal will tell you, only wool will do.

By contrast with wool, cotton is cold and will kill you when wet. This commentary comes from athletes who never wear cotton, preferring the water-wicking warmth of polyester over cotton or wool. "Too itchy" they say about wool. "Too much like plastic," I say about polyester. Besides, who's sweating for it to be wicked away? I can deal with the itch of wool if there's warmth. I cannot deal with the cold nor care that I look like a sheep ready for shearing when wearing it.

Suggest the cooling wet t-shirt look for your man when he gets hot. It will take him down to your cool-cucumber levels while clinging to wet body parts for you to admire. And for yourself, never, never, resurrect your polyester pantsuits from the 80s just to get warm. Build a bonfire of them instead.

Down quilt

The down-quilt solution for nighttime cold posed a few problems of its own. One was weight. The heavy-duty winter-weight down quilt was fine for me, but stifling for the guy in bed with me.

As a person who deals with problems by shopping, out I go for quilts filled with enough feathery down to match the season. So, in our house are the summer-weight, shoulder-season weight, and winter-weight quilts. I have stock in Eddie Bauer, the sleeping-bag company, in the form of goose-down bedding.

Duvet compromise

To keep a down quilt from soiling requires a duvet cover, a kind of totally enclosed cloth envelope for the quilt. My mother, bless her soul, was a quilter. She would hand-quilt duvets for me with designs of my own. Once, she made me a duvet on a design we copied from a Pottery Barn catalog. Together, we created a duvet that covers my springtime down quilt. She knew I would need others.

The winter-weight quilt cover that Mom made was the problematical one. The Mount Everest down quilt inside a quilted-top duvet felt like a load of bricks for those under it in bed. The hubby shuttered every November when it came out of the closet.

"You are not going to put that on the bed, are you?" he queried, knowing the answer full well. "Yes," I responded, "giving you license to turn the thermostat down to freezing." Such is the nature of compromise. Opposing parties wince when they see it coming.

Heating pads

There's one last tip for heat-impaired people. Those whose hands and feet freeze up despite all the woolen warmers in the world will find it useful. Buy several heating pads and place them strategically around the house. I keep mine under the computer, near the TV, at the foot of the bed (for those hot starts before jumping under the quilt), and in the kitchen for quick recovery from 'salad hands.' You are in trouble during a power outage, however.

For temperature-incompatible couples, these tips are marriage savers. If all else fails, hug your hottie husband and remind him that where there are cold hands, there's a warm heart.