Tips for Creating a John McCain Halloween Costume

Whether you are a supporter of John McCain, a detractor, a Barack Obama fan or whatever, there are several ways to go when coming up with a John McCain Halloween costume without disparaging McCain's POW experience or impugning his service in any way. Making fun of politicians due to excessive egos, their policies or voting records goes back all the way to the Founders of our country.

John McCain has given those looking for a topical Halloween costume in an election year plenty of ammunition with some of his statements about the economy, the fact that McCain wasn't sure how many homes he and his wife Cindy own and other gaffes. The fundamentals of a John McCain Halloween costume remain strong. Here are some ideas for a John McCain Halloween costume without "hitting below the belt" in the spirit of good, clean fun.

As most of us don't have the white hair which is a prerequisite for a John McCain outfit, I would recommend buying one of those over-the-head vinyl masks. Those things are probably hot, but by the end of October, the heat should have subsided enough to wear the McCain mask without overheating. If a person could buy a "two-face" George W,. Bush/John McCain mask ala the prosecutor turned criminal in the Dark Knight Batman movie, that might reinforce the notion that the man some call "McSame" voted with Bush over 90% of the time the last 8 years. Some might even have the ability to make their own such two-face Halloween mask.

For most people looking for a John McCain Halloween costume, just a John McCain mask alone will do. One doesn't necessarily have to wear a suit. McCain regularly is pictured on the news making his morning trip to the local Starbucks wearing casual clothes, but a suit would be more authentic. For those who don't have a good enough suit or don't want to risk soiling it, maybe the mask will be enough. If you really want to be authentic, a companion in a Sarah Palin costume is a good idea. Since naming Palin as his running mate, the Alaska Governor has rarely left McCain's side at public rallies. The Sarah Palin costume would include a 3rd place Miss Alaska sash and a toy rifle for moose hunting.

Part of any John McCain Halloween costume should include a pocketful of change as McCain tries to preempt Barack Obama's theme for election 2008. If the change is actually tokens, that will suffice. Also, carrying the keys to all those homes McCain doesn't know he owns would be a good idea.

If you can't get a two face mask featuring Bush and McCain, Dubya Bush could tag along as the Invisible Man, sort of like at the GOP convention earlier in September when George W. Bush was as a scarce as Colonel Sanders at a PETA rally. That may be the only way to get any treats, anyway, Bush being invisible I mean. Dick Cheney as Ebeneezer Scrooge is another possibility as a companion, as long as he doesn't take Sarah Palin's gun away from her.

As far as we know, Sarah Palin, who claims to be a "straight-shooter" unlike the current Vice President, hasn't shot anyone in the face, although future son-in-law Levi Johnston better wear a bulletproof Halloween mask just in case Palin invites him along trick or treating with her brood.

When speaking in a John McCain Halloween costume, you need to assume a dull monotone and end every sentence with "my friends" and sport a smirk akin to what my Dad would call "a jackass with a mouthful of briars".

Another requirement for a John McCain Halloween costume is a Blackberry. After McCain's head economic advisor made what the Senator's spinmeisters later referred to as a "bone-headed joke" suggesting that John McCain was responsible for the device, Mr. McCain has opened himself up as the butt of jokes. I wonder if McCain can contact Al Gore, who supposedly claimed to be responsible for the internet, on the device. Since McCain admits to never having sent an email and not knowing how to use the internet, I doubt it. Of course, older Americans could be forgiven for thinking John McCain claimed credit for inventing an actual blackberry at his age.After all, his running mate, Sarah Palin claims to have a direct pipeline to God.....