Tips for New and Current Miltary Wives

Enlisting into the military is a big deal for the soldier, but it is also a big deal for the soldiers' wife. Many people tend to underestimate the role of a soldiers' spouse, including the spouse. Here I have gathered up a few tips for new and current military wives.

1. Copy and Save all paper work.

If you do not have a file cabinet, get one! Copy everything, every last piece of paper that pertains to your husbands' career in the military. You will eventually need something and the easier it is to find; the easier it will be on you. Orders and award certificates are especially important.

Also, if you move and are advanced money for the move, make sure that you copy all of the paperwork and receipts from everything. I cannot stress the word everything enough. The military systems do make mistakes and they actually expect the soldier to be responsible for their own paperwork. We all know our husbands are busy with work, so do him a favor and help him keep track of it.

2. Invest in a set of tools for yourself.

It is pretty much inevitable that your husband is going to deploy overseas or spend quite a bit of time in the field. I have had to do everything from taking apart the sink to putting together entertainment centers. Most men are picky about their tools and it is probably a good idea to get a set of tools just for you. Some places even have pink tools for ladies!

3. Familiarize yourself with your Family Readiness Group.

Yes, An FRG (Family Readiness Group) can be good or bad depending on where you are. Sometimes the Family Readiness Group will not get word that you have arrived, so you can ask your husband to get their contact information for you. This organization will be vital to you if or when your husband deploys because all of your information will be given to you through them. An FRG also has tons of information about the post you are on, the resources available to you, and just the military in general. After you have familiarized yourself with your FRG you can decide for yourself how you like the organization, some FRG's have very bad reputations for gossip or spreading rumors and some are a very good asset to their soldiers families.

4. Keep track of everything your husband is issued.

On initial enlistment or re-enlistment your spouse will be issued a ton of stuff. These things will consist of everything from uniforms to their rucksack. When he re-enlists or ETS (get out of the army) the military is going to want these things back and if you don't have them you will have to buy replacements which can be very, very pricy. There is a simple way to keep track of this, have your husband get his list from a place called CIF (Central Issue Facility) and do an inventory to make sure that he has everything or as close as you can possibly get to everything. After many deployments, trips to the field, training, and just plain losing stuff you will be surprised at what you don't have, and thought you did.

5. Find your place.

Every military spouse is different. For some it is easier to work than others. Most military wives are stay at home moms for a variety of reasons like daycare costs more than staying home or the fact that it's hard to find a job when you move around all the time. Even if you don't have children finding a job can still be hard.

One thing you will need to do is feel like you are in your element and belong where you are. If you want to work the military usually has a military spouse preference program for its facilities on post. If you don't want to work there are also a million things that you can do to volunteer for, like the thrift shops and FRGs. School is also an option, with the internet and online classes the possibilities are endless. Myself, I find that being a mom and housewife for a soldier seem to take up enough time, but I have just started my second semester of college as well.

The point is, staying busy is important. Finding your place in a world like the military can be hard to do when you're always moving, leaving friends, and spending a lot of time away from your spouse. So find your place in this little world and it will make your life a lot less depressing.

In closing I would just like to point out that every branch of the military is different, I speak mostly from the experience of the army. I also say military wives, but I also refer to military husbands. I would never be so uncaring as to leave out the hard working husbands of our soldiers. I hope these tips help new wives as well as current ones to adjust to living the life of a military spouse.