Tips for Dating 30-Year-Old Men

In my dating experience, I have found that 30-year-old men are like kids, many have just recently moved from their parent's homes. Or like my last date; he lived next door to his mom and when he was running late to work; she would call him and ask; what was up. No lie, this man was 37 and his mother was still his roommate. Imagine spending the night at this house. You would always try to duck his mom's view; but you would know, that she knew, you were there.

I will concede that no one is an adult until they spend a decade out of their parent's home, so dating a 30ish year old is like dating a big KID. Most of the never married 30's are unfocused and still looking to have fun. Even if they are focused they tend to look at life as one big candy store, willing to try, buy or do everything in sight. Another young man 31, who I dated briefly was in real estate. He actually said "I saw a house I want to buy, but I know it's a bad habit, if I see it, I want it; I'm like a kid in a candy store". This is fine for the kid but the candy has two choices; one let yourself get consumed. Or two you get pawed over by sticky handed sex; I man sugar fiends.

This young man pressured me heavily for sex until after several dates I finally said well do you have a condom. All of a sudden, he started screaming like a girl a hysterical little girl. His voice kept climbing octaves as he explained; "What are you talking about I got my papers (immigration) 9 months ago and you have to be clean to get them." I looked at him in wide eyed amazement; here was a man who I had just asked how many partners he had bedded. 50ish was what he could remember and we live in South Florida which has some of the highest HIV and Syphilis rates in the country. He went on to say that if I was worried about getting pregnant he knew how to pull out. Humm sounded like I was in for a sexy good time. This spoke volumes to me about how he only thought of sex in terms of his own pleasure. I was supposed to be able to relax during a game of Russian roulette; not that he cared.

Then there are the types how do have a little more style, panache and patience so you do find yourself in a sexual relationship. Because you are not a girl anymore you are fine just dating and having sex until you realize that you are starting to have feelings for the person. So when my 38 year old date started to not spend the entire night I decided to just make sure where I stood. He was not interested in any more of a relationship with me and while it hurt, I again tried to be a grown up and said; "well if you are seeing other people and I am going to start, we need to practice safer sex". I was trying for a little jealously to possibly motivate him to just seeing me exclusively. Hey, woman can also be childish.

We were already using condoms but since we had been seeing each other on and off for years we were pretty relaxed about them. Well I did get a reaction; just not the one I was angling for, which was to make him think I could get other dates. He had a full fledged temper tantrum and said, "I do not think I'm goona like safer sex;you are ruining a good thing." He left my house like a bat out of hell. I did agree that I was ruining a great booty call but I wanted more. Girls are like that we want relationships to grow and change forward to a more stable union, not more causal.

After throwing a tantrum you would think that that the man would try to recoup a little dignity. No, he ran out of my house at 2 in the morning like the Ghost of Exclusivity Present was on his ass. Then in true childish fashion I got a call 2 years later. That is right 2 years later he called me; he could not believe I had the same number. I couldn't believe he had had the nerve to call. Then I remembered something he had said once; "I just wait until you are not mad at me any more, that's when I usually try to call," "I'm like that."

Previously, I was flattered and the calls were usually well timed; I would be between relationships. Now that I was 40; I realized a few things. One he was wrong and had been embarrassed by his own behavior. Two this was who he was; I saw him clearly the night of the tantrum; he was a 5 year old in a 37 year old body. Three he wasn't calling for me, he was just testing the waters, making a circuit and had in his mind just skipped dealing with my anger and hurt. Four; I deserved someone who was a bit more mature and considerate. Five, I had not forgotten how he wailed or how that made me feel. I guess he had hoped that I had forgotten his little show.

I listened to his message and after several days deleted it, hey it had been GREAT sorta safe sex.