Tips for Dealing with Your Child's Uncontrollable Rage

Does your child display uncontrollable rage? Are you unsure on what you can do to help your child overcome their feelings of rage? To help understand where a child's uncontrollable rage can stem from and for tips on dealing with a child's uncontrollable rage, I have interviewed psychotherapist Keri A. Cooper, LPC.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I have a BS degree in Psychology and a MA degree in Counseling. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor in Texas . In addition I have specialized trainings in treating victims of trauma. I have over twelve years' experience working in child welfare, specifically with children who have experienced trauma. I feel fortunate that I've had the opportunity to work with such courageous and wonderful children and families. I am a member of the Texas Counselors Association and the Association of Traumatic Stress Specialist. I am currently in private practice in Austin, TX ."

Where can a child's uncontrollable rage stem from?
"Anger can be a part of normal childhood development. Think of a teenager that over reacts when they're not allowed to go to a party or a toddler that throws a tantrum to try to get a piece of candy. In these scenarios their anger can be expected due to the circumstances and the developmental stage they are in. When we talk about rage we are usually referring to anger that is not appropriate for the child's developmental stage or is expressed in a way that is dangerous to themselves or others. Rage can be related to a number of things, including: head injury, mental illness, chemical imbalance, or traumas such as childhood abuse or neglect. Rage and anger are strong emotions closely related to fear and sadness."

What are some tips for dealing with your child's uncontrollable rage?
"No child wants to feel out of control so it's important to find out why they are reacting with such anger. Most children cannot tell you with words but by monitoring their behavior you might be able to learn what triggers them before they get into a rage. One tip would be to monitor the child's physical environment, even journaling when the child experiences rage, what lead up to it, what helped the child calm down, etc. You may find when a child is fatigued or hungry they are more likely to have exaggerated emotions. Building an opportunity for a child to have a physical exercise also has been helpful for some children. A child needs safe options to express rage where they can't hurt others or themselves. Some parents have found a designated area with pillows, bean bags or soft bedding an option for children to release their anger. Other options like tearing up a phone book or screaming into a pillow could also be helpful. By making a plan ahead of time when the child is calm, parents can increase a sense of physical safety and emotional security.

In addition to physical safety, it's important to meet the emotional needs of the child. Since rage can be related to fear, it is important that we provide emotional support to the child. We can do this by validating their feelings and letting them know we love and support them. Also try teaching them words to use to express their anger. By providing them with the words and opportunity to express themselves, we are sending them the message that their feelings are important. It's important to focus our discipline on teaching them skills to help them better cope rather than using punishment, especially any punishment that might make them more fearful. Helping a child feel emotionally safe is as important as helping them feel physically safe.

Lastly, for a parent with a child who experiences rage it can be very exhausting. It is important to remain calm but very difficult to do with an angry child. To meet the demanding needs of a child it's vital that your needs as the parent are being met. Try to surround yourself with people that are supportive and give yourself a break whenever possible."

What type of professional help is available for a parent that is having a difficult time dealing with their child's uncontrollable rage?
"There is a wide range of professional support for parents with children who are struggling with rage issues. The first step in caring for a child who is experiencing rage is to try to diagnose what is causing their symptoms. A psychologist or neuropsychologist trained in diagnosing children would be able to provide a wide range of tests to try to better understand and make recommendations for treatment. Psychopharmacology maybe helpful for some children but usually medication paired with counseling is most effective. In seeking a counselor for a child with uncontrollable range, it's important to make sure the therapist has experience working with the age range of your child and has the skills to meet your child's needs. Most states have licensing requirements and can provide you with a list of licensed professionals that specialize in children. Depending on the child's diagnosis, there are a lot of support groups available for parents that would help them know they're not alone."

Thank you Keri for doing the interview on how a parent can deal with their child's uncontrollable rage. For more information on Keri A. Cooper or her work you can check out her website at www.coopercounselingpractice.com

Recommended Readings:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5690058/how_to_manage_your_anger_with_your.html?cat=5">How to Manage Your Anger with Your Child

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5655418/how_to_stop_a_temper_tantrum.html?cat=25">How to Stop a Temper Tantrum

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/5647624/how_to_listen_to_your_child.html?cat=25">How to Listen to Your Child