Tips for Dealing with Your Roommate for a Peaceful Semester

So now you're here, but it isn't like home anymore. Your roommates aren't your parents, brothers or sisters. People come from all walks of life, and who knows who you'll be paired with? Even IF you know who you are rooming with, relationships can quickly turn sour if you guys don't lay out some ground rules.

The first thing that comes with developing a good relationship with your roommate is knowing who he or she is. Someone that loves punk music and someone who loves country music CAN room together, it's just a question of how much each person respects the other. If you have some preferences that you enjoy, such as leaving a night light on or taking a shower in the morning, let your roommate know before you do anything. Everyone has their own little routine, and its safe to say that your roommate will most likely not pick up on your little quirks so quickly. By letting him or her know your likes and dislikes our what you MUST have, each roommate will get a sense of what to avoid.

The second tip is rather simple: respect others' stuff. Some people are very lenient in the way they treat their stuff, yet others hate it when others even touch their things once. If you really need to borrow something, ask first before you do anything. Also, if you have a concern with where he or she is throwing stuff around the room, let him or her know before you take an expensive object (or something of sentimental value) and throw it out of the window.

Keeping safe is also key. Campus dorms are not the safest of places, as theft does take place and often times, it was because someone forgot to close the door for 30 seconds as they ran down to get the pizza. There's been stories of wallets, laptops, iPods, and clothes stolen, all in the span of time it takes you to read this paragraph. You must take responsibility for your own lost items, as you will probably buy them again, but what about your roommate's things? If your roommate lost his or her laptop because of your 20 seconds of irresponsibility, you will not only have to repay him or her for the damaged goods, you will feel a whole year of guilt.

Be open-minded to new ways of thinking or new ways of living. Your roommate may follow another religion or live a way that may seem awkward and weird to you. Learn to accept new things, and if you can't accept them, at least learn to understand where your roommate is coming from. All over the world, ignorance is the reason wars are started and people die. So if you want to gain an understanding about global relationships and how to understand who people are based on their religions or lifestyles, learn to bring new things into your life.

Give your roommate personal space, as well as defend your own. If you enjoy studying in peace and quiet and your roommate is constantly bringing in friends, it can be extremely distracting, especially if you have a test tomorrow. If you enjoy sleeping late and your roommate likes to sleep before 12 A.M, that can be an issue that you two will have to work out. Overall, it is imperative that you two are open to change and flexibility to mix schedules up in order to satisfy both sides. You and your roommate are sharing a room, and sharing the responsibility is a part of that. During the semester, things will change and people will as well, so adjusting to something that isn't too farfetched shouldn't be a problem. If you can't be flexible enough to adjust to your roommate, you will have a lot of trouble later on dealing with your job and business.

If your roommate is a friend of yours, remember to keep all of the previous tips in mind in order to retain friendship. Plenty of friends find out that after they live together for a while, they slowly turn apart and drift away. That is a sad thing to happen, but it probably happened because one person or the other couldn't respect privacy and personal space. If you don't know each other, don't expect you roommate to be extra friendly. He or she may not enjoy the things you do, so don't come into your college dorm expecting to immediately hit it off with your new roommate. There are times when roommates become lifelong friends, and there are other times when each departs peacefully when the year is over. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, then don't bang your head on the wall trying to figure out why you and your roommate didn't make BFF bracelets for each other.

The main topic to realize is that if something happens that you dislike, address it immediately (or find the right time to). Most likely, not everything will flow smoothly for the whole year, as new things will come up and problems WILL arise. Things like these snowball extremely quickly, and if you don't catch hold of your roommate and voice your concerns early, it will be much more of a problem later on as dislike can turn into hate. Something that may bug your but your roommate doesn't realize needs to be dissolved quickly, as feelings can bottle up and emotions can turn sour.

How to deal with a roommate who is bothering you? Before you take any action, think about what is really going on. Is it your fault or his? Sometimes you have the wrong outlook on what is going on, and you need to really sit down and think about what you are about to do before you actually tread on someone else's feelings. Sitting down and thinking about what is going on before you do anything is the first step in determining if the behavior that bugs you is a pattern or is just a one-time thing.

After you have thought about why you dislike your roommate's behavior and what you two can sit down and discuss, arrange a quiet one on one time for you and your roommate to sit down and talk things out. Your schedule will not match up perfectly, as he or she will have classes when you don't and vice versa, so find a time during which neither of you is distracted to talk about what is going on. Try not to attack your roommate when you are discussing various issues. Something like "I hate it when you [insert behavior here]" can immediately turn someone on the defensive side. Make sure you speak your mind, but also listen to what he or she has to say before you lash out or decide on a plan of action.

Either your roommate was totally clueless and oblivious to the things that he or she was doing to bother you, or knew all along. If it's the first case, then after you two have talked about various things that need to be addressed, it will be awkward, but from that comes understanding and the first steps to developing a better relationship. If it's the second case, it may be time for you to move out. During the course of a school year, plenty of people switch rooms or move out because things just don't click. If you are studious and he or she is a partier, most likely whatever you two do will always be in conflict. Speak with your hall leader if you would like to switch rooms to live with another roommate. Of course, this should be the worst case scenario, as working things out with your current roommate will not only help you two in learning about how to deal and co-exist with people, it will save you the hassle of moving your stuff out.

So there you go! In order to develop a peaceful relationship with your roommate, always think about what you do before you go and take action. Remember to work things out, as people and people are different, and keep a positive attitude - it may rub off on your roommate.