Tips on How to Encourage Your Wife to Lose Weight Without Actually Talking About It

Ok, so we all have moments with our spouses when we feel that we're trying harder than they are to look our best. The trouble for men is that the slightest mention of unhealthy weight gain directed against their wives sometimes means being labeled as sexist, unappreciative, disgusting, and demanding. It's no wonder men usually keep their mouths shut when their wives start packing on the pounds. However, there are unwanted side effects associated with being silent, too. Your wife's life span and her quality of life may be in jeopardy, as well. So just how does a well-meaning husband help an ever-expanding wife open her eyes without, well, actually bringing up the fact that she's less than petite? While there's certainly no single method, consider the following tips on how to encourage your wife to lose weight without actually talking about it for a few pointers before you head into the battle zone.

Tip #1: Consider your motives. Ask yourself why you really want your wife to lose weight. Is it about better health, or a bikini body? Your motives will direct your conversations with her. Careful as you may try to be, she'll see right through you. Keep in mind that it's ok to have mixed motives (you really do want her to get healthier and live longer, but you can't help but envision her with a tighter tummy), as long as you go into any conversations about food choices and health focused on the right agenda.

Tip #2: Change your own eating habits, and be enthusiastic about it. Women tend to gain weight after marriage due to comfort and convenience. They are comfortable eating what they want around you because, chances are, you're eating more. They also want to eat what you're eating, regardless of what it is, to avoid separate menu plans. As such, make a few changes of your own, and explain to your wife that you know you need to eat healthier. She'll likely conform, and may even be happy that you've made weight loss so much easier for her (many women complain that one of their biggest dieting dilemmas is the eating habits of their mates).

Tip #3: Make your dishes stand out against hers in restaurants. Again, your wife probably wouldn't be eating a baked potato overflowing with cheese and butter if you weren't eating steak fries and fried chicken. A subtle but very effective method of helping a women re-evaluate her menu choices is to help her look at her own plate more objectively. If you're not eating super-sized portions, she'll be very likely to see that she shouldn't be, either. She won't want to appear to have a ravenous appetite, so chances are she'll downsize her portions when you do.

Tip #4: Decrease her comfort level a bit by cutting back on the weight lies. If she asks you if she looks like an elephant, there's no need to say "yes." However, if she asks you if that shirt that she should have thrown out three sizes ago is a bit snug, polite honesty is your best policy. Even if you fib just a bit, she'll eventually realize that not every piece in her wardrobe shrunk in the dryer as you suggested.

Tip #5: Is she does the grocery shopping, request healthier selections. If you shop, bring home healthier foods yourself. Either way, make a special request for more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. You don't have to overhaul your refrigerator, but having healthier options available (and actually eating them) is key. She may be less likely to indulge in that cheesecake if yogurt is available, but you can count on her grabbing the cakes and cookies if they are all the comprise your home menu choices.

Tip #6: Start cooking, or bring home dinner yourself. If your wife, like so many wives, has total control over the kitchen, it's time to start taking it over. Offer her a chance to kick back and relax a few times a week, and try introducing lower calorie meals that she'll love. If you're lucky, she will be so thrilled about the offer to take care of dinner that she'll start losing a few extra pounds and appreciating you more at the same time. It's dirty, but it works, and everyone's happy...

Tip #7: Compliment your wife gently. Contrary to what some may believe, tearing your wife down for her weight gain will do nothing to guide her toward a healthier path. Speaking to her of extra baggage will likely backfire and cause more binging than dieting. Instead, build her up and help her feel pretty again. Even if she takes care of herself, she may not feel as great as you believe. Often, weight gain is a direct result of a low self-esteem or unhappiness, and the more a woman gains the more vicious the cycle becomes. If she is re-introduced to that feeling of being desired and pretty, she will likely find herself enjoying it so much that she strives to feel that way more often. As such, she'll be looking at what she can do to improve.

Tip #8: On that note, don't overcompensate. If you feel that the only way to hide your frustration over your wife's weight gain is to tell her that she's America's Next Top Model, you'll only fuel the fires of denial. The key is to subtly open her eyes to the truth. If tearing her down is the number one sin, filling her head with false praises is a close second. Beauty comes in many forms, so try not to give in to the pressure to only compliment her on the physical. If she's not a healthy size, she simply isn't. Concentrate on all of her many other offerings.

Tip #9: Give your wife a gift that requires her being body-conscious. Whether it's a trip to the beach or a little black dress, give her a gift that she'll love that will also force her to take off the blinders. The point here is not to bluntly address what she can no longer wear or do (in other words, don't buy her a string bikini), but to hopefully get her to think about how perhaps her body is keeping her from enjoying life the way she deserves to.

Keep in mind that you may wish to seek out the advice of a doctor for more help on how to suggest that your wife lose weight without actually telling her that you've noticed the late night binges. There is likely a deeper, more complex reasoning for her pound accumulation that requires a certain amount of tact and sensitivity to dissect. Above all, be patient. When the weight is lost, your relationship will be all the better if she can thank you....rather than blame you.