Tips for Getting Your Husband Involved in Your Pregnancy

Pregnancy can be a very stressful time for both the expecting mother and the expecting father. Soon-to-be dads often feel stressed out and left out during the pregnancy, and often pull away from you right when you need their support the most. Worries about your health, finances after the baby comes, and how to care for a newborn can all weigh heavily on the mind of an expectant father. Below are several ways to encourage your husband to become more involved in the pregnancy, and to help ease his mind about what to expect after the birth.

Get him involved in your medical care:

Men often feel like the third wheel when it comes to their wife's obstetrical care, and can be hesitant to show interest or become involved. Invite your husband to your prenatal appointments and your ultrasounds. Show how much you appreciate it when he attends, but do not make him feel guilty if he misses some of your appointments. Discuss your pregnancy symptoms with your husband, and encourage him to ask your OB questions of his own during your prenatal visits. Do what you can to keep him from feeling left out during your appointments - even if it means having a private discussion with your doctor if you feel that your OB is not considerate toward your husband's concerns. Asking your husband for advice, even if you do not take it, will help him to feel like he can make a contribution to your comfort and well-being,

Start calling him Dad:

The reality that he is about to be a father might not have sunk in yet, and that can prevent your husband from getting as excited about your pregnancy as you are. It also doesn't help that pregnancy congratulations are nearly always directed at the expecting mother alone, and that usually baby showers and other such activities ignore the father-to-be. Let him know that he is already a father, even before the baby is born, and encourage him to view the pregnancy that way as well. Buy him a Father's Day card if that holiday falls during your pregnancy, and remind him often what an amazing parent you believe he is and will be.

Get him involved in preparing for the new arrival:

Do not just leave furniture construction to him and keep all of the fun aspects of preparing the nursery to yourself. Take him shopping for newborn clothes with you or ask for his help in setting up an online birth registry. Include your husband in as many decisions as possible regarding such things as the theme for the baby's room, the type of crib to use, and whether to breast or bottle feed. He might not have an opinion, but he will appreciate that you have consulted him.

Remember that pregnancy can be stressful for him as well.

Talk to your husband about his concerns about becoming a new father, and do not dismiss them even if you think they are silly. Many expecting fathers worry about the cost of raising a child, and can even be concerned that they will not be able to support the family while you are out of work postpartum. This concern can be a significant source of stress for soon-to-be dads, and needs to be taken seriously by you. Expecting fathers also have the same fears as you do about becoming a parent, and worry that they will not be a good dad or will not know how to properly care for a newborn. Sharing your own fears with your husband will make him feel less alone, and spending time together researching your areas of concern can be a bonding experience.

Realize that his experience is unique from yours:

Your husband will never know what morning sickness is like, just as you will never fully understand some of his experiences related to the pregnancy. It might be helpful for your husband to interact with other expecting fathers or with men new to parenting. Most areas offer local support groups for expecting dads, and online message forums can also be a tremendous source of information for your husband. Encourage him to become involved, but do not push him if socializing with other soon-to-be dads is not his cup of tea. He might take that as a sign that you have little faith in his abilities.