Tips on Getting Rid of Pre-Wedding Jitters

One thing that can really take the glow off your wedding day is anxiety. Anytime from a month to the day before your wedding you can get an unwelcome attack of the pre-wedding jitters. That feeling of interior dread about things you really find trouble even naming can suddenly hit. There are so many details to the planning of wedding including the church, flowers, the reception, honeymoon plans. And then there are the lists. It seems like for months that's all you have been able to do is write lists of things to do or things not to forget. Surprisingly enough it is in the writing of one final list that you may really find some peace. As you get closer to your wedding day determine to write a list of all the things you CAN'T control at your wedding and you will find yourself getting rid of pre-wedding jitters. This sample list will help to get you started.

1. The Weather. You can fantasize about it, stew about it, even pray about it ,but experience certainly has taught you that there is not a single thing that you or anyone in your wedding party can do to actively alter the weather. It will be what it will be. If you planned a beautiful spring or summer wedding you made an attempt at having a nice weather day. Your account is closed. You can't order it up. Your limo driver and wedding coordinator will both have umbrellas so let it go.

2. Who doesn't like the seating. There is not even a slight chance that you will have pleased everyone with the seating arrangement. Some won't like their table mates, some will want a table closer to the front, or the back, some won't like being assigned or free to choose. What you know is that they are coming to honor you and you have gone to a good deal of trouble to provide them with a nice meal. If that's not enough to keep them happy, they will have to cope as best they can. It's a done deal.

3. What the best man says in his toast. Sure you'd like someone who could stand up and be witty, articulate and affectionate as they give the wedding toast. After all everyone is going to be watching and listening. But the best man, well he's never spoken in public before, unless you count yelling from the stands at a baseball game. But you and your spouse love him dearly, you could never hurt him by choosing someone else. Despite his lack of speaking ability he is and will continue to be your best man. Recognize your blessing.

4. How many clinks. For sure there is nothing you can do about the clinking of the glasses. It's tradition. See it as something people who don't know each other but who are sitting together can do to lighten the mood. Maybe you really aren't much into public displays of affection, but a peck here and there won't kill you and you can see it as your gift to your guests. There are lots more difficult things on earth than kissing the man or woman you just married. Plan to go with the flow. Maybe the group will get bored of you early on.

5. The Gifts There will be at least one guest who forgets their gift, leaves their envelope at home, doesn't have the money to fill a card on your wedding day. Yes, they will probably be upset, feel awkward and try to avoid conversations which have to do with gifts. But by the time the salad is served they will have moved on to enjoy the day. You can't control other peoples mistakes or forgetfulness. They should make a few lists themselves.

6. Too much of the bubbly. If you have alcohol at your wedding you will have people who don't know how to use it properly. So you can do one of two things, have no bar and look at the surprised and disappointed faces of half of your guests, or have a bar and know that some people will overdo, get loud and perhaps even be annoying. That's on them. You aren't in charge of people's drinking habits or lack of social graces so let it go.

7. She wore what?. Remember all the effort that went into getting the wedding dress, bridesmaids dresses , matching tuxedos and even appropriate children's wear? You really put some time and energy into making certain that everyone in the wedding party would look their best for your wedding. There will be people who come to your wedding who decidedly have not put any time into deciding what to wear. Maybe they don't like to dress up, or they didn't have the funds to buy a new suit or dress, maybe they don't go out much and just didn't know what was appropriate apparel. Your fault? Not by a long shot. You did your part , besides think of how many guests will benefit by knowing that there is someone there who makes them look good.

8. Having your cake and liking it too. You like vanilla cake, your spouse prefers chocolate, you settled on some type of mocha surprise that you both liked. That's really all you need to know. There is very little chance that everyone will like your idea as much as you do, regardless of what they tell you. But you will enjoy every morsel and hope that a few other folks enjoy it too. Still you can relax because you know that every other married couple did the same thing, they chose their cake, their way and trusted the crowd. End of discussion.

9.The Bridal Bouquet. The bride might have exceptionally good athletic ability and she may have practiced throwing the bouquet over her shoulder to her sister standing to the far right. But let's face it, the bride might forget to allow for the reach of that 6 foot cousin who has been trying to catch a bouquet since the time she was only 5 feet 10 inches. It can happen and there's not a thing you can do about. Besides what are the actual statistics on how many bouquet catchers are actually the next one to get married as the custom promises?

10.Whose that sneaking out early. The old rule of etiquette was that guests, except in extreme circumstances, never left the hall before the newly married couple. But those days seem to have passed. People have lots of responsibilities and more or less staying power. You were important enough for them to come and share a meal and their good wishes. Enjoy the company you have and let go of the rest. They, after all, are going home to possibly a sink full of dishes. You're going on a great honeymoon.

Once you have made your way through this list don't stop. Sit down and write a few more things about your particular wedding that you know you have absolutely no control over and feel the stress rolling right off. Basically your only concern is remembering to say "I do".