Tips on Going Out of the House and Leaving Your Child Without Problems

When you have a new child in your home, you are the center of their world. You are everything to them and any variation in your presence rocks their world to the core. It is usually around the child's first birthday that they begin suffering some sort of separation anxiety. Being the fact that you are their security blanket, any interruption in your presence is something that they find very hard to handle.

And although this feeling wanes a bit as they get past the one year birthday, it sometimes returns between the ages of 1 and 3. Try to give your kids some sensitive and responsive care which will let them know that you are still there and that they need not worry that you will abandon them. But you must go out sometimes. Listed below are some ideas that might help you to get out the door with little or no fuss.

1. Time it Right. You want to leave when the child is happy and in a good mood. If he is cranky and upset, anything is likely to set him off. So you walking out the door will be sure to do that. Try and wait to leave when your child is calm and in a good mood.

2. Rehearse. Come and go at home as much as possible. Announce that you are going into the bathroom or to the laundry room. Stay only a minute or two and when you return make a big deal out it. Announce that you have returned. This will help your child get use to the activity of coming and going. Plus he will learn that he can trust that you will return when you leave. This may also be useful when trying to get the child use to a babysitter. With the babysitter there, announce that you are going upstairs. You then leave the child with the sitter for a time. You then return a short time later. This has given the child a chance to be with someone other than you but they have also seen you return.

3. Do a Good-bye Routine. Set up some kind of ritual when you leave. Get down on your child's eye level and say that you are leaving. Give him a big hug and kiss and say that you will be thinking of him while you are gone and that you will be back soon. Then leave the room and don't return. You can even give them some sort of timetable for your return such as after a nap, or after lunch. The one thing you do not want to do is leave without saying good-bye. This will frighten the child and make him think that you have abandon him.

4. Don't Give In to Their Reaction. Don't react to the child screaming and crying when you leave. If you return in response to this, you will find it harder and harder to leave again in the future. Once the child knows that a tantrum won't bring you back, he will pass that up and go on with something else.