Tips for a Great Day at the Renaissance Fair

Greetings, gentles one and all. Lords, ladies, lads, and lasses alike all do enjoy t' go about their springtime merriment at the Faire; to partake of fine feastings, to gaze upon various and sundry purchasings, and to find mirth and 'muzement from the shows therein.

Translations: Hey folks. Everybody loves to go to the Faire, to eat strange food, shop, and laugh at the shows.

It doesn't matter where you are or which region you're in, there's bound to be a Ren Fair held near you sometime soon. From fantasy to historical re-enactments, peasants to pirates to popes; you're going to find a lively colorful swirl of costumes and exotic foods somewhere near by. I, a twenty year veteran of the Ren Fair circuit, offer you these handy guidelines to get the most out of your Ren Fair day.

Tip: Wear Comfy Clothes - Yes, part of the fun of the Fair is dressing up in that pirate costume you got to wear last Halloween. Or, in some cases, busting out that chain mail shirt or bikini. Just keep in mind that you WILL be wearing this most of the day and you WILL be walking around a lot. You may want to give up looking cool at the cost of being comfortable.

Tip: Wear good shoes - More important than the comfy clothes is the good shoes. You can wear nothing but a leather loincloth as long as your sandals fit well and keep your feet cozy. You'll be walking and standing around in lines quite often, so be prepared for your feet to ache if you're not smart.

Tip: Bring Cash - You'll be tempted by the dozens of delightful vendors you will find at the Faire. Want antique coins? A two-handed broadsword? A new hat with feathers in it? All these things cost money. Not all Fairs have ATM machines, and not a lot of vendors take credit-card. Plus with cash you can try to haggle down the price sometimes.

Tip: Look at your map/schedule- Most Faires will print up a nice little map of their layout and give you a show schedule. Read over your map to see what it is you want to hit first. Want to see the joust? Be sure you're not caught at the far end of the Fair when it happens. Want to meet the King/Queen? Check their schedule to see about their royal court visits.

Tip: Bring a camera - You never know who or what you'll see. Bring film to record it. The funny little clown may pull someone up onto the stage with him for a memorable moment and you'll have it on camera. Also you can get ideas for yourself from some of the more interesting outfits you may spy there.

Tip: Don't try the language unless you know it - You may want to try to work in a thee and thou here and there to 'fit in'. An aye or a nay are perfectly fine, but when you get into more complex forms such as the thee/thou and -est rule, you can end up sounding like an ass. "Mayest I havest thou picture, oh fair maid" sounds like you're trying WAY too hard. To those of us who've learned the dialects and language structure of the time period, it just sounds like you're being ignorant. We'll smile patiently and pretend you sound good, but really - do yourself a favor and brush up your Shakespeare or just speak normally.

Tip: Be prepared to spend money - Nothing is cheap. Food and drink will set you back a lot even if you decide not to shop the vendors wares. You may be able to bring in a picnic lunch depending on your location. Don't try to bring your own booze in.

Tip: Be prepared to spend MORE than you think you will - This is slightly different than the other tip. You'll find goods at a Faire you can't find anywhere else. Oftentimes handmade by the vendors themselves, these goods will run you a bit more than the quickly mass produced things you find in a store or market. They will be of higher quality and craftsmanship, but be aware that quality comes with a price.

Tip: Beware of Pakistani Steel - You may THINK that dagger looks cool, but it's really cheaply made. Compare and contrast between the different knives and swords the vendor may have for sale; what you find in one package may be slightly different than in the next one. Ask if you can inspect them for quality before you wrap it up and take it home.

Tip: Don't be a jerk- You may see lots of women in low cut bodices and hiked skirts but it doesn't mean you can pinch their behinds or make lewd jokes. If they want you to, they'll invite you to do it. Likewise, ladies - don't flip up a man's kilt or check to see if he's regimental (Sans underwear) unless he permits. There are also families with young children nearby.

Tip: Respect the Performers - If you sit down to watch a play or performance, please turn off your cellphones and modulate your voice. You're in public... and more importantly, the performers can see you. Sometimes they may even single you out if you're ignoring their performance. Don't heckle, just politely put your offending phone away or shush and watch the show.

Final Tip: Have Fun - it will be a long and tiring day, but it can be a magical one. There's plenty to do, see, buy, and eat at a Faire. Enjoy yourself.

Eat, Drink, and Merry be, and godspeed til again we do meet.