Tips for Handling Criticism

Being criticized is one of those ugly, inevitable happenings in life. No matter how hard you try to do your best and "be all things to all men", one day someone will see you lacking in one area or another and will not hesitate to let you know about it. Here are a few things to keep in mind and put into practice the next time you find yourself the object of a critical evaluation.

1. Suppress your temper. It is easy to get defensive and stop listening to the person who is pointing out your shortcomings. Resist the temptation to fight back. Slinging verbal assaults at your critic will only give him more negative feelings about you. Even if you are too upset to really digest what the person is saying, at least hear him out. You can stew about it later.

2. If the criticism has been given graciously and with good intentions, thank the person for sharing their opinion. Regardless of how you feel about what the person said, tell him that you will think about what he said.

3. Do not give a quick defense, unless you feel that the person's evaluation of you is completely unfounded. If you feel there may be a grain of truth, you need to be able to think through the criticism before you respond to it. However, if the person is malicious or just trying to attack your character, tell him that for specific reasons (and tell him what they are) you are unable to respect his opinion.

4. Do some soul-searching. Though the criticism is likely not 100% accurate, there probably is some truth to it. Look at yourself objectively or try to place yourself in that person's place. Can you see where he's coming from? Is there an area in your life which you need to work on or change? Did you say or do something foolish? If so, sincerely apologize.

5. Commit to change, but let the criticism go. Once you have determined what, if any action you should take because of the criticism, let it go. By nursing your wounded pride, you will only let bitterness grow in your heart toward that person. In order to maintain healthy relationships, you need to let go of the things that were said against you. Do not let well-meant criticism damage your friendships or working relationships.

Criticism is an unpleasant, yet inevitable part of life. When you find yourself the target of a negative evaluation, work to keep a positive spirit. Examine your life to see if there is truth to the criticism and if there is, determine to do something about it. Finally, keep your temper and do not allow yourself to become bitter or resentful of the person who brought you the criticism.