Tips for Helping Your Child with Asperger's Succeed Socially

Children with Asperger's have a different way of socially relating to the world. As parents there are things you can do to help your child to learn how to socialize and be successful in their interactions with others. To help understand what are some social challenges a child with Asperger's may have and for tips on helping your child with Asperger's succeed socially, I have interviewed Psychotherapist Tom Edwards , LCSW.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.
"I am a clinical social worker with a primary focus on adolescent and family issues. I have worked in outpatient, inpatient, and residential settings. I am currently in private practice in Germantown, TN. I went to graduate school at the University of Tennessee College of Social Work and finished in 1990. I have been licensed to practice since 1992.

My therapeutic approach is an eclectic one. I use cognitive-behavioral techniques quite often but also see the inherent value of the therapeutic relationship in effecting change. Considering myself a behavioral optimist, I encourage clients and their families to examine their expectations and shed the negative.

With Asperger's Syndrome clients, I use a great deal of social modeling, group therapy, and educational activities."

What are some social challenges a child with Asperger's may have?
"This really depends on the particular aspects of Asperger's Syndrome that the child has. For many children with Asperger's, the difficulties center on their inability to, and sometimes disinterest with, reading the social messages that their peers provide them. These children may, consequently, not know how to back off from someone annoyed with them. They may also not relate or empathize with others very well. This does not, by the way, indicate a lack of emotions. Instead, it points to impairment in appropriate expression. Asperger's children, and perhaps even to a greater degree, adolescents, are at very high risk to experience bullying and can be quietly miserable if attention is not paid to their experiences. Because of some of the unique qualities they sometimes possess (eg: monotone, robotic language, areas of intense interest that others may find unusual, avoidance of eye contact , etc.), the possibility of alienation, especially in large school settings, is increased. In the absence of a safe haven , like the band, the chess club, or some other inclusive group, these young people can easily drift into isolation and anguish."

What are some tips for parents on helping their child with Asperger's succeed socially?
"I work hard to get parents to recognize that Asperger's is considered a syndrome and not a disorder for a reason. It is important, once the diagnosis appears likely, to begin educating and supporting. I teach that Asperger's simply describes the way a person interacts with the world and that it does not predict failure. I also focus on the many positive qualities that some persons with Asperger's possess, including being consistently average to above average intelligence, their gifts with problem-solving, and the idea that the areas that they become interested in can become areas of great achievement. Parents who can learn to see their Asperger's children as fascinating as opposed to odd will be better equipped to advocate for them at crucial points.

Parents of Asperger's children have to take an active role in selecting peers that match well with their child and with arranging opportunities for interaction. Having even one good friend who understands and enjoys time with an Asperger's child can be a major help.

Lastly, the Asperger's parent needs to develop an intuition that alerts them when their child may be experiencing bullying or other social difficulties; because they may not ever get a direct message from their child that they are having trouble."

What type of professional help is available for a parent that wants their child that has Asperger's succeed socially?
"The knowledge base and understanding of Asperger's Syndrome is thankfully growing. These days, with the ability to use the internet and other resources to find the right therapist, it is much easier to make the right match. Since Asperger's children rarely present with acute psychiatric symptoms, they are most often best treated in an outpatient setting. Individual therapy can be helpful by providing an opportunity for the child to establish and develop a trusting relationship with someone who has knowledge about Asperger's and who can be supportive and accepting. This therapy can provide for modeling and reinforcing appropriate social responses. Family therapy can also be helpful, especially if parents have had difficulty understanding the syndrome or who may be frequently annoyed by their child's unique behaviors. Social skills groups can offer a place for Asperger's children and adolescents to interact with peers without any fear of ridicule or bullying. Again, this can be a good setting for specific education about social interaction and for modeling and reinforcing interactive skills. If more intensive treatment is indicated, there are day treatment as well as summer programs that are specifically designed for children with Asperger's."

Thank you Tom for doing the interview on how parents can help their Asperger's child socially succeed. For more information on Tom Edwards or his work you can check out his website at tomedwardslcsw.com .

Recommended Readings:
How to Cope with Your Child's Asperger's Syndrome

7 Keys to Successful Parenting

Tips For Disciplining a Defiant Child