Tips on Helping Kids Cope with Natural Disasters

Sitting in the living room, dimly lit with candles to preserve the lantern for emergencies only, we listen to random items scrape across the lawn and sidewalk. The power has been out for several hours. We don't know what the scraping items are because the windows are boarded up and opening the door to check would not be very smart. The wind is screeching. The scraping stops for a few moments. Then, loud bangs and crashes echo through the heavy winds as they drop random debris around the neighborhood.

All of us are hunkered down in one room for safety. 3 mattresses shoved together on the floor serve as the night's makeshift sleeping area. After some inventive ideas, the 4 kids present are the only ones getting any real sleep. My husband is attempting to sleep, as I am the designated "danger watcher." I elected myself to stay up through the storm and alert everyone if we needed to use our "emergency hurricane room" that I had prepared before the storm. I watch my husband toss and turn. No doubt, worry is on his mind.

If you are ever planning on getting through anything like this, you had better prepare in advance. Teaching the kids about that preparation, as well as helping them understand and deal with emotions, is part of that preparation. During emergency conditions that natural disasters can create, there is sometimes no time for a kid to throw a fit, cry, or get angry or scared. Their cooperation might be key to their survival. Teaching your kid to cope with their emotions by understanding the situation can help prevent some things from going wrong. It can also be a great healing process during and after the natural disaster occurs.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Natural Disasters

Relax -- Before you even begin to explain anything to the kids, be sure that you are calm. Then, be sure the kids are also calm. If you are stressed, try breathing techniques, yoga, or other stress relief techniques. Click Here for some tips on stress relief involving yoga.

Speak on the Child's Level -- Sit facing the child at his or her eye level. Also speak in terms the child will understand. Confusion is not a good thing during natural disasters.

Listen -- Give the kids a chance to ask questions and also to let you know how they are feeling. Some kids may be scared, while others might think the natural disaster is "cool." Be sure to address all emotions, questions, and concerns, once the kids have had a chance to freely express them. To be sure everything is covered, you may even want the child to write down all questions and emotions, before saying them aloud. That way when you need to answer the questions, you can go back to the list and make sure all the concerns are solved, or at least addressed.

Explain -- Once the kids have freely expressed their thoughts and concerns, it is time to explain natural disasters, as well as address any additional concerns expressed by the kids.

Listen and Explain Again -- After the explanation, the kids may have more questions and concerns. Listen and explain over and over until there are no more concerns.

What are Natural Disasters?

The first part of helping kids cope is explaining what exactly a natural disaster is. Let the kids know that natural disasters are those caused by forces of nature. Prepare.org offers a free downloadable coloring book and information guide on natural disasters. It is an excellent resource to help teach kids about several of the most common natural disasters. If there is a possibility that a certain natural disaster will happen soon or has already happened, give extra focus to that particular disaster.

Can they Be Prevented?

Many kids will naturally want to know if the disaster can be (or could have been) prevented. They need to understand that nature is somewhat predictable, but stopping it is not something people can do. Let them know that natural disasters, such as hurricanes, tornadoes, and floods cannot be stopped, but the injuries they might cause to people can be reduced if safety precautions are taken. Ease their stress from that statement by also letting them know that since many of the natural disasters are predictable, there is usually plenty of time to prepare in advance. Sudden fires or flash floods may not always be predictable, however safety procedures can still be extremely helpful in these natural disasters.

Can it Happen Again?

Because natural disasters can be stressful, or sometimes just out of curiosity, kids may ask whether the event can or will happen to them again. Never say never when it comes to this subject. Even in cases where it is unlikely that the natural disaster will be repeated, kids need to know the truth. The truth is that natural disasters can and do happen. If you tell them it won't happen again just to ease their stress at the moment, your words could come back to haunt you later on down the road. If the natural disaster does happen again, your child may question your judgment in the future or may even believe you are lying to him or her intentionally.

Where's all My Stuff?

Natural disasters may cause items to be destroyed, lost, or stolen. Kids can become pretty attached to their belongings. Try to ease their pain and comfort them about their lost items. Let them know that people are more important than items and that at least you have each other. Make fun plans for getting new items and talk about redecorating. This may help the child get over lost items. Also, be sure to emphasize that these are just things. They really are not that important. This is especially important to families who will not be able to replace the items right away.

Why do We Have to Move?

Since natural disasters can cause devastation and destruction, it may be that your family has to move either temporarily or permanently. Some kids may feel uneasy about a new home, especially if you will be leaving a familiar neighborhood or relocating entirely. Explain to the child why you are moving in terms he or she can understand. If your house has been destroyed, be honest. If you will be moving back in once it is prepared, let your kids know that. If you will not be able to move back in, be sure the kids know this as soon as possible. The longer you wait to tell them, the harder it will be on you, as well as on them.

Fun Games to Play During or After the Natural Disaster

During the hurricane, we were, of course, stuck inside the house. To top it off, our power went out before the storm even started, so we had to get creative to keep the kids busy and stress free. Along with previous discussions about hurricanes and natural disasters, it worked well. We were much more nervous than the kids. But, they never knew it.

Mad Libs -- Mad Libs are great to play during natural disasters for families with kids because they are distracting and fun. Mad Libs are word games in which players take turns naming words to fill in a story they cannot see. One person calls out the type of word needed and fills in the words suggested. When the words are filled up, a fun story has been created to read aloud and enjoy. They can actually get pretty funny. We like to save ours for later enjoyment. These can also be enjoyed by candlelight, which is what we did during the hurricane.

Telephone -- This classic game can be played in the dark, by candlelight, by campfire, or in normal light. Everyone sits in a circle. The first player whispers something into the ear of the player to their right and that player repeats it to the next and so on until it gets to the last person. The last person repeats it aloud. Then, the first player says whether that was the original statement. If not, they tell everyone what it was. Oftentimes, what is repeated aloud will differ greatly from the original statement. We've had "Dirty Hands Give You Germs" turn into "Hungry Man's Eating Worms" and other silly transpirations.

Scary Stories -- This is probably best for older kids. Simply take turns telling scary stories. This can be done in the dark, by candlelight, by campfire, or in traditional lighting.

Sound Charades -- If you are without power, it might be a bit hard to play charades. When the hurricane came, we invented a different version of charades. Instead of acting things out with movements, we acted them out with sounds. We could not use words, though - only sounds. It turned out to be a great game that the kids have requested several times since the hurricane.

Build-a-Story -- This is a game in which the family is creating a story together. If you have enough light, someone can write the story down while it's being created. Each person says one sentence at a time until the story is completed. The stories can be scary, funny, teach a lesson, or all or none of the above.

Sources:

Prepare.org

http://www.prepare.org/children/colorbook.pdf

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