Tips for Helping Your Shy Child Make Friends

Is your child shy and has a difficult time making friends ? Are you unsure on what you can do to help your child overcome their shyness and make friends? For tips on helping your shy child make friends, I have interviewed therapist Katherine Clausen, LCSW.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I am a licensed clinical social worker who has been practicing for eight years. I got my MSW from the University of Maryland at Baltimore in 2003. Immediately after graduating, I did a year-long fellowship at the Yale Child Study Center , where I received intensive training in psychotherapy for children and adolescents. I also recently completed the Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Program at the Manhattan Institute of Psychoanalysis . Currently I work for the Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services and also have a private practice in Park Slope, Brooklyn. I work with clients of all ages and I find that my work with children enriches my work with adults, and vice versa."

What type of impact can a child that is shy and has difficult making friends have on their overall well being?

"Peer friendships are crucial to a child's development. Friendships are an opportunity for children to learn to be intimately related to others in a reciprocal, collaborative way. A child does not need to have a lot of friends to benefit from these relationships, but does need to have a few close friends. Children who are unable to successfully form friendships will probably have difficulty navigating adult relationships."

What are some tips for helping a shy child make friends?

"If your child is shy and withdrawn, first examine your own behavior. Do you help your child build confidence by showing an interest in what s/he says and the things s/he likes? Do you yourself have friends, and do you role model good relationship-building skills? It is important to encourage your child to make friends if he or she is shy. Talk to your child about how s/he might approach a peer s/he likes and wants to get to know. Show an interest in your child's friendships by asking questions about his or her friends, and facilitate building friendships by inviting your child's friends to spend time with your family."

What type of professional help is available for a shy child that has difficulty making friends?

"If your child is still having trouble making friends in spite of your efforts to help, you might want to consider psychotherapy. Your child might be very anxious or may need to be assessed for developmental problems that may be interfering with developing friendships. As with all child therapy, the parent's involvement in the therapy is crucial. The therapist can work directly with your child, but many therapeutic gains won't be sustained without parent involvement . Your child's doctor or guidance counselor can probably help you to find a qualified therapist if you're not sure how to find one."

Thank you Katherine for doing the interview on tips for helping your shy child make friends. For more information on Katherine Clausen or her work you can check out her website on www.katherineclausenlcsw.com.

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