Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Strong with Children

Just because you're married with children doesn't mean you have to live like the Bundy's. Here are some tips from an experienced wife and mother to hopefully make your marriage and family life a little more enjoyable.

1. Put your kids to bed at a reasonable time and make it part of your every day routine. Let's face it, kids need their sleep and we need a little time by ourselves. It may be tempting to keep your children up later so they will sleep longer in the morning, but having an hour or two in the evening alone with your partner is worth the early wake-up call.
2. Do fun things together as a family. Playing together as a family helps strengthen the bond between husband and wife. Try to do something every day. It can be as simple as getting out for a walk with the kids or building a snowman together in the backyard. If you can't schedule family time every day, try to plan an every week event. My family has movie night on Fridays.
3. Do the things you need to do to feel good about yourself. It's not anyone else's job to make this happen. Exercise, get your hair done or take a class on-line. The happier you are with yourself and your life, the happier you will be with your personal relationships.
4. Find a babysitter you trust. Whether it's getting together with friends or getting out for a dinner that doesn't involve sippy cups and flying food, some time away from your kids will make for a more harmonious family life. Do something together you used to do before you had kids.
5. Share your finances. If you didn't meld your finances together the minute you said I do, having kids makes it a necessity. You're a family now. Pool all your money together to get your debts and bills paid and stop quarreling about who's paying for what.
6. Don't lose touch with your family and friends. Stay close. Everyone's had a friend who stops calling the second they find a new boyfriend. Don't be this person. Having someone to hang out with or talk to besides your mate is essential.
7. Be friends with his friends and treat his family like your own. Include his friends on your invite lists and take the kids to see his mom. He'll appreciate your effort and it will make you important to the people who are important to him.
8. Do nice things for your partner. Offer to watch the kids while they take a shower. Take the kids to the store with you and give your partner some alone time. Encourage your kids to do nice things for your partner as well. My husband will take my son out shopping and then let him pick out a flower for me.
9. Relax! Don't stress over the small stuff. Your marriage is more important than a clean house or making extra money. If working overtime at your job is putting your relationship in jeopardy it may be time to rethink your priorities.
10. Try doing one of your spouse's hobbies together even if you don't think you will like it. My husband likes rebuilding cars and I wanted a sports car so we decided to rebuild one together. You never know if you are going to like something until you try it.

Lastly, always remember you can't back out of being a family even if your marriage fails so you might as well give it your best shot. People today lack commitment in their relationships. Divorce is a relatively new thing. Are anyone's grandparents divorced? Just knowing you are committed to each other for better or worse makes you strive to keep your marriage strong and healthy. Just surviving the first few years sometimes seems like a miracle. Keep up the good work!