Tips for Maintaining Long Distance Relationships
Communication and Creativity Will Keep You Close and Connected
Whether it's a simple text message or a basket of treats delivered to your partner's door, the best way to keep a long distance relationship hot is with constant and varied types of communication. They can be instant messages or an envelope that can only be opened at a certain time. Mix it up, use creativity and imagination, and keep your partner wondering what's next.
- Have some sort of daily communication that doesn't require both of you to be available at the same time. Exchange emails, text messages, Twitter, or leave voice mail. Set up a joint Facebook page to share your relationship publicly. When you can, add a photo or a comment to the page. You'd be surprised how good it feels to see yourselves as a couple where others can see you, too. If you're pressed for time, start a game of hangman, with one letter guessed per message. If a 7 letter game lasts the whole day, that's okay! It had you thinking about each other in an entertaining way.
- Set aside a time in the day when you can talk or use messenger in real time. It might be easier before your day gets started, unless you aren't a morning person. In that case, find a time later in the day when you can be together while apart. With the time difference, my long distance partner was able to call when he got to work. He woke me up every morning and was the best alarm clock I ever had. Being able to say good night on the phone with a virtual hug will give you a warm, fuzzy feeling and end your day with a smile. If phone calls aren't free between your homes, sign up for an internet phone service like Skype and stop paying for calls.
- Take advantage of the many varieties of ecards, from funny to romantic. Don't overdo the ecards, though, or the magic effect will soon be lost. Save them for special times, like if he's had a really bad day or you're missing him more than you can express in words. If you miss a day after sending a card every single day for a month, your partner might wonder why that happened. It's one thing to send a card because you had the urge to do it, and another to feel obligated because he expects it.
- Send digital photos of yourself or a project you're working on. Photos are a great way to make two people feel closer and more connected. A friend of mine had a puzzle made out of a picture. She divided the puzzle up and put pieces in 14 envelopes. He opened one envelope each night and tried to guess what the puzzle picture was. When it was finished, he had a romantic picture of her to keep on his table.
- Set up times when one or both of you can turn on your webcam. Being able to talk face to face will make the distance between you almost nothing. Have something with you to show your partner... something you picked out especially for them. A flower from your garden, a batch of cookies that you're going to put in the mail, or even your pet will add interest to the live webcam time.
- Send a link to a funny Youtube sketch or a song that reminded you of your partner. If you enjoy poetry, share a favorite poem or write one yourself. Share a quote that is somehow related to your relationship. Anything that will make your partner laugh or become more emotionally connected is perfect.
- Keep a journal and open it up for your partner to read by using LiveJournal or another site that allows friends to read what you've written. Use this place to write about your feelings or things that are happening in your life that you don't want to bog down the emails with. Having your partner know more about your emotions and feelings will form a special bond that couples in 24/7 relationships usually don't have. It's a unique way to get to know each other better and it serves as a record of the growth of your relationship. There will be times when your partner can sense you're feeling blue or agitated. Reading about the cause of your emotional upsets in the journal will calm any worries he might have about the reason he sensed a change in your writing. Communication is key to a successful long distance relationship.
- Unless there is something truly tragic going on in your life, try to keep all correspondence upbeat and optimistic. No one likes to hear complaining all the time, and if the frequency of communications begins to taper off, it's time to take a look at why that is. Too much drama might make your partner dread those phone calls instead of look forward to them.
- Go on a movie date. Rent the same movie and watch it at the same time, if possible. Pop some pop corn and fix a drink to go with it. You can make comments by texting or using IM and make it feel more like you're doing something together. If not a movie, then share a TV program together. You'll soon get to know your partner's taste in TV and you both get to hold the remote!
- Mix up your media. Although it's wonderful to have instant communication, there's also a place for snail mail. Without telling him what you're doing, put together a month's worth of envelopes with something you can't send over the internet. Items that use the sense of touch or smell are perfect... a card with a spray of your favorite perfume put into a zip lock bag, a lock of your hair, a piece of lace, sand from the beach, or a pressed flower from your garden. Handwritten quotes, poems, Scripture passages, or prayers are great for making your handwriting familiar to him. Draw a little picture or just doodle on a 3 x 5 card and slip it into one of the envelopes. He might use it for a bookmark or prop it up on his desk. Pick a month that is relatively calm to do this, rather than a month like December that can be overwhelming and detract from your daily envelope.
Published by Rachel de Carlos
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- Mixing up different ideas for keeping in touch daily is the way to keep the relationship hot
Unless there is something truly tragic going on in your life, try to keep all correspondence upbeat and optimistic. No one likes to hear complaining all the time.
4 Comments
Post a CommentWe set aside one night a week for date night, and watching movies is great! We sit and watch the movie on speaker phone and we can hear each other laugh and have a great time. We also buy the same snacks and drink so we both experience the same thing. And to be honest it is almost the same as being together and we love our date nights.
These are such creative ways to keep a long distance relationship going. I've been there and I know firsthand that it is a challenge, but well worth it when you have met the right person.
Sophie
I agree with Mallory. I wish I had stayed in contact with old friends..now I have no idea where they might be. Thank you, Rachel!!
Excellent advice! I'm adding you to my favorites. :)