Tips for Making Your Own Relationship Contract

Romantic relationships can become complex over time. Disagreements, infidelity, life crises (unemployment, illness, etc.) and maturity are reasons most relationships may change or deteriorate. Couples who create a relationship contract, however, can bypass some of these problems. A relationship contract covers the relationship roles, financial responsibilities and other contingencies for problems that arise over a long-term relationship. With the contract, the couple has a ready solution that was agreed on by both parties. Creating such a contract may be uncomfortable at first but will benefit the couple in the long run.

Sit your partner down and talk about the issues that are most important to you. The issues differ from one couple to another. You may have no problem with finances, but past infidelities plague your relationships, for example. Thus, infidelity gets included in your contract. Write down the issues only and move on to the next step.

Talk about your concerns. Worries about splitting the finances after the relationship dissolves, custody of the pets or children and even division of chores are all legitimate concerns. Figure out your concerns with the issues outlined in step one.

Devise solutions for the problems. Consider options such as counseling and rules that you both must follow when fighting. Discuss these solutions because you will have to abide by them later on in your relationship.

Write the contract. Begin with an introductory paragraph explaining who your both are and what the contract is. Include the date as well.

Follow the introductory paragraph with a list of the issues that concern you two and the solutions for them. This portion doesn't need to be formal, but it does need to be clear and concise.

Add a section with a "deal-breaker" clause that will void the contract immediately. For many couples, infidelity is a deal breaker. Find yours and include it in the contract. Place a dissolution of property and child or pet custody arrangement in the contract if you are planning to marry or live together.

The written contract is binding and may just be upheld in court, depending on the circumstances of the case.

References

"Do you Have a Relationship Contract," Romance University.

Matt Schneiderman, "How to Draft a Relationship Contract," The Naomi Show.