Tips for Making Your Romantic Getaway Successful

So you've picked a place for your romantic getaway and know what activities you're looking forward to as well. You're going to do some horseback riding and know of a museum nearby where you'll visit.

What's left?

There are a few things to keep in mind and a few things to think about avoiding during your romantic getaway in order to make it as enjoyable as possible, and to avoid some miserable moments as well!

Putting Pressure on Both of You

It's probably not too vulgar to say that when you want to get away for a romantic rendezvous with your spouse, you're looking forward to some uninterrupted time when you can enjoy good conversation, looking longingly and lovingly into each other's eyes, and oh yeah, some sexual activity as well.

Why is it then that when you get to your hotel or cabin that this just doesn't happen like you imagined? He wants to flip on the television, she wants to light a fire in the fireplace. He just wants to get to the sexual activity but she wants some conversation and to open a bottle of wine first. Or both of you are so tired that you wind up sleeping through the first two days while you're there.

Keep in mind that sometimes putting too much pressure on yourselves as a couple is just going to sap all that romantic energy and feelings. When two people take off for a romantic rendezvous they think that those romantic sparks are just going to start flying automatically once they check into the hotel. They assume that they'll both be in the mood to just sit there and stare at each other the way you did when you were first together.

And when that doesn't happen, feelings get hurt or resentment builds - and that too just drains more of that romantic energy!

This type of mistake usually starts well before you even get to your destination with those expectations and even demands that you take with you. It's not unusual for couples to think that their romantic getaway will be like some sort of magic trick that will automatically turn them into a loving couple that just can't get enough of each other.

Being determined to be romantic and loving is part of the solution to this of course. Thinking that you can spend time in front of the television or sleeping may not be the best thing for your romantic rendezvous. Remember that this trip is about the two of you, not about just what one of you wants, so concentrate on spending time together as a couple. At the same time don't think that the entire trip will somehow be magical and perfect.

If you want to sleep in your first day then do it - being rested is part of being romantic. Relax your attitude and your expectations. If the sexual activity isn't all that you expected or hoped, remember that being together as a couple is what's important.

ATTITUDE IS IMPORTANT

So you can't afford a first-class trip to Paris or that luxury cruise that you hoped for. All you could afford was a standard hotel in a nearby state where you can go horseback riding and do some hiking, which wasn't your first choice for a romantic getaway.

And for some reason you're just not feeling very romantic; the resentment is taking over your every thought and attitude. What to do?

Being resentful is of course not very romantic and certainly won't help to encourage a romantic mood between the two of you. If you spend the entire week or weekend finding fault with everything you do and wherever you stay, of course you're not going to be very responsive to your spouse.

Your attitude toward your romantic getaway is going to go a long way to how successful and restful it will be. If you're miserable the entire time then your entire time will be miserable, but if you choose to find something enjoyable about your visit and your location then you're going to not just have a better time but will be in a better mood for romance. Nothing turns off anyone like being with a bitter and miserable person!

Remember that if you're lucky enough to be able to get away for any type of romantic rendezvous then you're better off than most. The majority of people today have a hard enough time just keeping their heads above water when it comes to paying their bills and expenses and many people are without that special someone that they can spend time with. You have someone that you love and that loves you, and you're able to get away for a few days to celebrate that love - certainly you can find much to appreciate during that time!

Even in the most rustic and rural of locations you can probably appreciate the beauty of nature around you and can be determined to enjoy the fresh air during your hike or the adventure of being in a new and different city.

Be determined to enjoy yourself while you're away and if you do, that's probably what will happen.

PREPARE SOME ACTIVITIES

We all know that your romantic rendezvous is probably going to involve some sexual activity, but what else? You might assume that just being together in the hotel room for three or four days or an entire week will be enough for you, but rarely is that the case. You can easily get cabin fever after a short amount of time of being cooped up together just looking in each other's eyes.

Planning some activities to enjoy together may be essential for your romantic rendezvous to be truly enjoyable. And again, planning is essential. You may need to do some research beforehand about what activities you can engage in and then prepare yourself.

If you're staying somewhere surrounded by nature you want to pack your hiking boots or appropriate shoes; make sure you check with the nearby hiking station so that you know how the trails are marked and how long you will be gone. Talk with your spouse beforehand so that you know what he or she will be expecting and what interests them. Be ready for some compromises as well! He'll spend one afternoon in that museum if you try your hand at fishing, and so on.

Just arriving at your romantic rendezvous point and plunking down your bags, thinking that you'll be able to amuse each other for the entire weekend or week may not work the way you assume. Find out about activities around your site and plan on getting out of the hotel or the cabin a few times while you're there. Who knows, you may even find that the activities you engage in outside the cabin are the most romantic of all!

PLAN FOR THE ROMANCE AS WELL

Being in a romantic spot surrounded by natural beauty without your children and cell phone may be all that's needed for both of you to feel rather romantic, but very often you might actually need to put a bit of effort into the romantic aspect of your rendezvous as well. Some couples have been so long without romance in their lives that they've forgotten how to get it started!

There are some things you may consider when it comes to actual romance itself:

Try some nice massage oils; the type that warm on contact are very relaxing and often come in different soothing scents as well. When giving each other massages don't forget about massaging the legs and arms as well as the back and shoulders.

You can even get video tapes or DVDs that explain how to give a very good and effective massage; get one of these beforehand or bring it with you. These don't need to be sensual or sexual in nature but there are ways to massage the shoulders, hands, face, and other parts of the body for maximum relaxation and effect, and so that nothing gets hurt!

Take a long hot bath to really get relaxed and to soothe muscles that are tense from the job, your family, and everything else.

Make sure to pamper yourself and prepare yourself beforehand. Get a haircut, a manicure, a pedicure, and whatever else you need to do to feel good about how you look. This applies to the men as well - they should make sure they're properly groomed and should trim their fingernails and toenails, get their back and shoulders waxed if necessary (don't turn your nose up at this - many men have it done and many women wish that more men would have it done!), and do whatever else they should do to be presentable.

Bring some nice cologne or scented lotion and make sure you use it while you're there.

Pack some nice clothes and undergarments. The men especially may need to pay attention to this - those torn shorts you've been wearing for years aren't exactly attractive! You don't need to actually dress up or dress inappropriately, but wearing something nice and presentable will go a long way to put you both in the right mood.

Bring some nice candles as well, although of course you need to be very mindful of your safety. Don't assume that the room itself will be all that romantic even if it has a fireplace! You can also typically buy rose petals from a florist or purchase freeze-dried rose petals online where you would purchase wedding favors and take these with you.

Ask the establishment if they can provide some nice wine or chilled champagne and some flowers for the room as well. If they can't do this you may need to bring something and keep it on ice in the room. Bring some nice edible items as well - if you're driving to your destination you can pack a small cooler with nice chocolates and strawberries. If you're flying you can probably stop at a store on the way there and pick up some nice items that you'll both enjoy.

Romance may happen spontaneously but don't count on it. Many couples arrive at their location and then wonder why neither one is in the right mood for romance. Making some preparations and planning for romance beforehand is going to be necessary to get that spark ignited.

DON'T GET INTERRUPTED OR OFF-TRACK

There's a reason that couples often go away for romance and it's not just for a change of scenery. Nothing kills a romantic mood more than a phone call from the boss or the kids complaining about something or being reminded of the bills that need to be paid and the checkbook that needs to be balanced.

Many couples unfortunately take their responsibilities and distractions with them when they go away for a romantic rendezvous. While calling to check on the kids every now and again is perfectly fine, allowing yourselves to be interrupted unnecessarily is a surefire romance killer. If the kids call you for no reason tell them that you're off-limits until you get home.

Refuse to check your email more than once (if even that often) while you're away. Turn off the cell phones, and don't even discuss these other matters while you're gone. This weekend or week is about the two of you; your budget and leaking roof and decisions that need to be made will be waiting for you when you get back home so why start discussions and conversations about them now?

Keep your conversations grown-up and don't talk about the kids or bills or work or anything else. Talk about your interests, your hobbies, your common goals and needs, and things such as this.

TAKE YOUR ROMANCE HOME WITH YOU

A weekend away or a week's vacation together is great for rekindling the romance between the two of you, and can be just the prescription you two need to get your relationship healthy again.

But it is just a small amount of time when you look at the big picture. What about the week after you get home and the week after that? Relying on one weekend or one vacation is not going to be enough for your lifetime together.

It's very important you keep this romantic experience alive and well even after you get home. You might not be able to go away every weekend or on a regular basis, but what can you do at home to keep the romance alive?

This might mean giving yourself a "curfew" when it comes to turning off the television and computer and even the cell phone so that you can spend a few minutes just talking between the two of you before you go to bed. It might mean making regular arrangements to get all the kids out of the house for one night even if it's once a month or every other month so you can have some uninterrupted time together.

Preparing for romance for an evening can also be done on a regular basis. Get yourself ready physically with a hot bath and use those massage oils. Get something new to wear and a nice cologne. Buy some nice chocolates or splurge on a good bottle of wine. This doesn't need to be on a special occasion but just pick a night during the month when you can both be home and have some time to relax.

The bottom line is that you need to make your relationship and your romance a priority just like you do everything else in your life. When the car needs an oil change you get to the mechanic's garage; when your child has a recital or soccer game or doctor's appointment you get that done without a second thought. So when your relationship needs some romance why is it so difficult to make that a priority?

Schedule it and plan for it and work at it the same way you do anything else in your life, and if you do, you may find that you and your spouse actually have the strongest and most romantic relationship ever!