Tips for the Male in Today's Relationship

From what I hear it used to be easy to be a male in a relationship. The alarm clock sounds and you'd wake up, your significant other would rustle you from the bed, send you off to the shower and put out your cloths, then go to the kitchen to make you breakfast. Then 8:00 a.m. comes around and you'd go off to work, getting home sometime in the afternoon for a home cooked meal, TV and a beer, then a good nine hours of sleep only to wake up and do it all over again. All the while being the dense rock at the bottom of the sea of your lovers' emotions. Ah the simple life...

Yeah, right! If you think this is how things go, I can only hope someone pinches you and wakes you up. Get real! We're in the 2000's, and regarding relationships men have acquired so much more responsibility. It takes a lot of work nowadays to successfully maintain a relationship from the males end. We must be sensitive and caring to accommodate and really be that man the woman of today needs.

For the records, I am not just talking about male and female relationships, I am extremely open minded and so is this article, and you can very well apply it to all types of relationships, gay, lesbian, etc. Keep in mind when reading the following, that even in gay and lesbian couples, there are individuals that take on the somewhat traditional role of a male; being dominant, fixing things, etc. Those individuals will also be considered males, and for the sake of argument "male" has a rhetorical meaning for the length of this article especially when considering the fact that no males could exist in a relationship yet the roles of one could still be present and this article fully applies to those situations. Also, when I refer to a "woman" you can assume I am depicting the persona of a woman and not necessarily a physical one, as I said previously about when we talk about males in this article. Some men in gay relationships are more of a woman than some women!

Now that we have that concept out in the open so this can be looked at from all angles, we can fully explore some ideas and issues regarding the role of a male as most perceive today and some tips on how to be successful in a relationship.

Men are protectors, with the uncanny ability to become fearless at a moments notice. It's just an innate instinct that we all carry with us, and at the first sight of danger there we are, out in front, keeping our partner from harms way. That used to be the sum of things concerning that area. Men were supposed to be macho and show no emotions or else seem weak. Well, time's have changed, and you're expected to shed a tear now and again, and you'd better have the doors of your heart open at all times so your lover can come running whenever necessary. There is more to being a protector than keeping someone safe from physical harm. You've got to be able to protect from emotional and mental harm as well. Being able to open yourself to your partner is very important, and will really hit home when you can keep someone and their heart safe from harms way.

Crying for some reason it was shunned at least when I was growing up. If you were a man and you cried it was looked down upon by other men, who would swear they didn't. The fact is though it's ok to cry! It really is, and it's healthy too. Crying is a natural release of emotions. I highly doubt there is anyone that doesn't cry, although many will be sure to deny the fact. When in a relationship, don't be afraid to shed a tear here and there. Especially when you are involved in something very emotional with your partner, let that tear go and he or she will really know you care. Crying with your significant other can really tighten the bond and in fact, it makes you more of a man to be able to accept that about yourself.

Cooking is another big issue. In the past, men usually didn't cook. However, in this wonderful day and age men all over are cooking. Almost all the men I know cook and they really enjoy it. It's a great way to relieve some stress (although I wouldn't recommend dropping butter into an already heated skillet as the stress from the explosion defeats that concept!) and you're bound to impress your partner while you concoct that delicious meal. It's also a nice thing to do, especially if you don't do much of the cooking between the two of you. Your mate will be happy to be able to enjoy a meal for once, and will really appreciate you for taking a step into the unknown and lightening their load.

Work. It's a thing dreaded by all unless your career involves doing something you love. Let's again look at the traditionalist's view of work. Typically it involves the man working, and the woman staying at home cleaning and whatnot. Obviously this has changed, I hear tales about both the man and the woman working, or just the woman working and the man staying at home. It really is all about what you and your partners' financial needs are, and most likely with the economy as it is you will probably have a need for two people to work. However, there may be a case where the woman absolutely loves her career, but there is a need for one of you to stay at home and you just so happen not to like your job very much. Do not despair, you are still a man, just one that stays at home. This might be very discouraging to people, especially those raised as or by traditionalists. There really is no need for discouragement once you realize the simple concept of equality. You should be happy your partner is doing something they love, and happy because you are out of the job you didn't like.

Communication is a big deal for men. They tend not to communicate well regarding relationship issues. Communication is probably the biggest bond in a relationship; it's what holds everything together and makes you aware of what the other is thinking, feeling, and needing. If you don't have the ability to communicate properly it should be your first priority to learn. Let her know what's going on in your head (to an extent, not all information needs to be disclosed), if something is bothering you or you need to talk, confront her respectfully so that the issue doesn't build up and eventually blow up the next time an argument happens.

There are so many other things that entail the role of a man, enough to write a book on. My only hope is that people evolve out of the old ways of "men should only do this" and "women should only do that" and realize that it's quite possible to help each other and conjoin the roles that were once separate and create some equality.