Tips for Managing Stress

It seems like everyone today is on fast-forward. Even I, who was born laid-back and buoyant, have gotten caught up in the rush. Most of the time I run because I see others running, I spring for things because I feel this prickling pressure that I must, and snap because I've just gotten snapped at. Is this all necessary? Are we, in the long run, just setting ourselves up for serious disorders? Is it all that great that we're a bunch of high-strung, impatient curmudgeons?

Will it be worth it in the end?

Even those who seek out "solutions" to their stress-related issues are creating even more stress in their lives. They cram in workout sessions between getting out of work and getting home, they grab onto the newest "stress-busting" trend, and become frustrated when something that claims to reduce their stress does not. Anti-aging products are huge because people are trying to reverse the havoc that they know they have wreaked upon their bodies from their rigorous lifestyles.

The tips I offer here are not high-tech. They're not even novel. I'm going to reiterate things that you have always known, but have left behind in your pursuit of success, security, or whatever it is you hope to gain in life. These may be things that your grandmother may have told you and caused you to wrinkle your nose at the time. This time, give these a chance before you wrinkle your nose.

1. When you feel your pulse rising, remember the Serenity Prayer. What does it teach you? That you should accept the things that you can't change, have the courage to change the things that you can and have the wisdom to know the difference. Every time I miss the train or I have to wait to hear some ugly news, I remind myself of the essence of this prayer. I ask myself, "What can I do?" I make a list of all the feasible things I can do, try them, and if they don't work out, I accept the fact that I have done all that I could. And then I distract myself usefully. It takes work to come to the point of acceptance, and it takes faith in this prayer, but it does wonders for easing your mind and for putting an end to the feeling of suspended anxiety.

2. When you can, turn a wait in line into a mini-break. Practice deep breathing through one nostril for 2 seconds, hold your breath for 8 and breathe out your other nostril for 4 seconds. Repeat 10 times. This is a surprisingly rejuvenating breathing technique and is supposed to make you feel more refreshed as it challenges you to breathe through different sides (we usually breathe primarily through one nostril). Or during this break, think of all the things in life that you are grateful for. Take yourself away from the waiting room or the grocery line to your own safe haven. Allow yourself this little break. After all, what else can you really do while in line? Grit your teeth? Now, come on, what good is that going to do you?

3. Stop feeling so entitled. Let us admit it: all this convenience has turned us into whiny little self-indulgent brats. Perhaps what I have said is offensive, but I am including myself and pretty much everyone I know. At first we love our new gadgets, then we get used to their efficiency and/or luxury, and then they are not good enough for us-yet thank goodness the newest "improved" versions are out to replace the old ones! We expect perfection from everything and even from people, and that feeds our frustration as we all know deep inside that perfection rarely exists in the real world. Again, make a list of all the things you are grateful for, and try to do this once a week.

4. That said, take care of yourself. I know, I know, I sound as if I am contradicting myself. Yet if you have had a genuinely stressful day, or if you really do not allow time for yourself (i.e. you spend your days taking care of your mother, your father-in-law, your children, your husband, your histrionic sister and on top of all that, you hold a full-time job), then you must take an hour or two to unwind. You must. You will eventually run out of steam. If you are sleep-deprived because you have too many things to do, ask people for help, delegate tasks and make sleep a priority. Nourish yourself with plenty of good food. Take walks. If you are lacking in sleep, nutrition, hydration and exercise, these are all your top priorities. Remember Maslow's hierarchy of needs? You can have a great job and a wonderful family, but in order to do your best in life, you need to make sure that your physiological needs are first being fulfilled.

5. Forget time for a while. Don't look at the clock for a few hours. Allow yourself to get lost in the flow of an activity that you truly love. Do you love beading? Then take yourself away. Turn off appliances such as cell-phones and computers and escape into a world that allows you to really relax and use a part of you that is forgotten far too often in life: your creative mind. Never, ever forget the power of your creativity. In a world of adult responsibilities, increased speed, heightened expectations, self-realized limitations and the frustrations that ensue, creativity allows for an entry into another world where time is irrelevant and anything is possible.