Tips on How to Have an Obesity Conversation with Your Teenage Daughter

Parents know that there is a difference between fifteen vanity pounds and a true health concern with their children. When shortness of breath, inability to concentrate, depression, and/or emotional eating come into play, a visit to the doctor may be necessary. However, when it comes to our daughters, knowing just what to say, and how to bring up the subject, when it comes to obesity can be a challenge. Female teens tend to place a great deal of concern upon their appearances, and self-esteem issues are hard to avoid when it comes to weigt loss. If you are considering approaching your own young lady about her weight in the near future, take a glance at the following tips on how to have an obesity conversation with your teenage daughter for a bit of guidance.

Tip #1: Discuss your own health changes as a pre-coversation warmup several weeks ahead of time. Sometimes, teens only need a good example to follow. Your daughter, upon seeing the changes you are making in your own life, may be inspired to make a few of her own. If nothing else, changing your own actions will help her feel less isolated when the topic of altering her diet and excerise ways comes up in the future.

Tip #2: Try encouraging participation in athletics. Sports not only help teens maintain (or achieve) a healthy weight, but they also promote self-esteem (crucial to the maintenance of long term weight loss). If your daughter is too heavy to compete, try encouraging recreational sports as an aid to the weight loss to make exercise more fun.

Tip #3: Say "get healthier," not "lose weight." Being blunt about a need for weight loss is likely not necessary for your teen daughter. Most teen girls are keenly aware of their sizes. Instead of focusing on a vague ideal weight goal, focus on helping your daughter reach a healthier BMI. This involves not only losing weight, but also building muscle and eating healthier foods (not just limiting calories). Rather than achieving a certain look, she'll be aiming for a certain health level and feeling.

Tip #4: Keep your popularity concerns to yourself. It's easy as a parent to get caught up in worrying about whether or not your child will be socially accepted, especially if you have a daughter. However, while these concerns can be valid, they are not the best motivators for weight loss. Your daughter must be losing weight for herself, not the acceptance of others. Otherwise, she may risk damaging her self-esteem and sabotaging her efforts.

Tip #5: During your conversation about obesity, offer to reward healthier behavior. Having a conversation with your parents about your weight problem is no fun. Add a little light at the end of the tunnel by offering to reward healthier behaviors, such as eating two portions of vegetables at dinner or regularly exercising. Remember, focus on these behaviors rather than an actual number of pounds lost. When behaviors change, the pounds will come off slowly on their own. The vague goal of "losing weight" is rarely helpful for obese teens.

Tip #6: Don't leave her hanging....exercise with her. If sports aren't an option, make an offer during your conversation to team up with your daughter. On top of your own efforts to eat healthier, try scheduling several exercise sessions a week together. You'll not only be nearly doubling her efforts of success (studies show that those who exercise with partners do so more often than those who go it alone), you'll also gain a chance to bond and strengthen emotional connections.

Tip #7: Use your conversation to get to the root of the problem. If your daughter is obese despite the tremendous amount of pressure on young girls to stay fit today, there's likely an emotional cause. She may have some pain to get through, a self-worth issue to work out, or a habit of eating to relieve stress. Rather than focusing only on the weight, remember to focus on what is causing the excess eating and lack of self love. Encourage journaling, regular conversations, and healthy social outlets as a means of helping her come to terms with the cause of the problem.

Tip #8: Build her back up at the conclusion of the conversation. A discussion about obesity can lead to conflicting thoughts for teen girls. Remember to build your daughter back up emotionally by pointing out her many strong points, resolving to help one another, and by changing the tone to something more pleasant before leaving the room. She'll get your point, and she'll benefit much more from your optimism than a display of your doubts.

Be prepared for setbacks on the long journey, and be always ready to build your daughter back up each time she falters. Knowing she has your support for the entire weight loss plan will greatly increase her chances of defeating obesity for good.