Tips for Overcoming Midlife Stress

Midlife stress is a typical experience that many people have between the ages of 40 '" 60. To help understand where midlife stress stems from, what type of impact midlife stress has on most people and tips for overcoming midlife stress, I have interviewed therapist Karen Mori Bonner.

Tell me a little bit about yourself.

"I'm a licensed counselor with a private practice in Ridgeland, MS . I also lead groups in a behavioral health clinic, Three Oaks Behavioral Health here in Ridgeland. I work from a Jungian perspective, using clients' dreams and journal entries to determine what's going on in the deeper reaches of the psyche. I also give workshops and lead dream groups at my church as a spiritual exercise.

Counseling and dream work is my second-half-of-life career. I ran my family's retail business for 20+ years before making a mid-life change and returning to graduate school to become a counselor. I'm more than familiar with mid-life stress and how that may be a catalyst for profound change."

Where does midlife stress come from?

"So many transitions happen at mid-life, that is, ages about 40 '" 60. For many people, the children are leaving home just as elderly parents need more care. Or parents begin to die. Often, mid-life is the watershed for careers; it becomes clear whether career goals made years before will or will not be met. Retirement looms with questions such as will there be enough money? For some in mid-life, health issues begin to surface and people begin to detect a diminishment of energy. These changes require adjustment to which many people are resistant. Grief is experienced, as people are no longer parent to their grown children but become like parents to their own parents. Over the last several years especially, people in mid-life have experienced increased anxiety about money and retirement as the recession has derailed careers and retirement savings."

What type of impact does midlife stress have on someone's overall life?

"Unremitting stress at any age has an impact on physical health. Stress and anxiety interfere with sleep, appetite and over all functioning. Sometimes people begin abusing alcohol or other drugs, even prescription drugs to try to cope with the stress. Sometimes people fall into using destructive or compulsive behaviors like gambling or compulsive shopping to make them feel better temporarily. Underneath all of that, people report becoming depressed or apathetic '" there's a feeling of 'is that all there is?' and nothing to look forward."

What are some tips for overcoming midlife stress?

"Many people who have been healthy in their childhood and early adulthood may have forgone annual physical checkups. Now is the time to begin paying more attention to health and physical well-being. If you don't have a relationship with an internal medicine MD, now's the time to establish one and get a thorough physical checkup. With the doctor's OK, begin regular exercise. I know we hear it all the time but it's true: the number one way to reduce stress and anxiety, to improve overall mood, to increase a sense of well-being and even improve sleep is to exercise moderately 30-45 minute 5 days out of 7 at minimum. A brisk walk around the neighborhood is readily available, cheap and effective. Get enough sleep, drink enough water, take vitamins if needed, cut down on excessive caffeine, fat and sugar. In short, all the things we already know will make us feel better.

Also, mid-life is a wonderful time to review one's life, one's values, one's goals. It's a good time to make changes. It may be that certain long held responsibilities or commitments can now be relinquished '" give up the committee membership at the civic club or teaching Sunday school for awhile. Consider a career change if possible. Have you always wanted to paint? Write a novel? Learn a language? Take guitar lessons? Learning a new skill is a way to inject new energy into life.

Pay attention to your dreams. Mid-life dreams often include discovering new rooms in one's house or an upstairs that doesn't exist in waking life. Mid-life dreams may show things overflowing their containers or coming out of their boxes. All this to show us that a larger life is asking to be acknowledged and even lived in our second half of life.

Mid-life is the time to reassess spiritual values and needs. Where does your spiritual nourishment really come from? What are your spiritual values and how has life up to now affected those values? Are you really living your life by those values?"

What type of professional help is available for someone that is having a hard time overcoming mid-life stress?

"As I stated above, the first professional to call when stress is taking a toll is one's primary physician for a complete physical checkup. Ruling out any major physical problems, people can contact a licensed counselor, psychologist or even a certified life coach to begin the process of assessing the sources of stress and how to manage these. These professionals can help discern the outward causes of stress and the client's response to it. From there, a plan can be put in place to make changes where necessary or wanted."

Thank you Karen for doing the interview on overcoming midlife stress. For more information on Karen Mori Bonner or her work you can check out her website on www.dreamcounselor.ms .

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