Tips for Parents to Help Keep the Lines of Communication Open with Their Teen

1. Reassure your teen that no matter what, you will always love him or her. Let him or her know that nothing will change your feelings for him or her and that he or she is welcome to speak his or her mind without fear of rejection or retaliation.

2 Let your teen know that you are open to discussing any topic, even if it is one that might be embarrassing or personal. If you model openness, your teen will be more willing to do the same.

3. Be patient. If your teen needs to do so, give him or her time to cool down and collect his or her thoughts. Trying to pressure your teen into talking about something does not work.

4. Learn to enjoy listening to your teen. Most of the time, we want to do all the talking, or we simply are too busy to hear what our teens have to say. The most valuable thing that we can do in communication is to listen and really hear our teen. Try it. You might be surprised at what a difference it can make.

5. Let your teen know that you respect him or her and care about what he or she thinks. How can we as parents expect our teens to respect us if we don't respect them?

6. Remain calm, and don't yell at your teen even if he or she is yelling at you. It is amazing how a calm and gentle tone can help to neutralize a chaotic situation.

7. Do a routine worldview "evaluation" of what your teen believes and thinks about various subjects (i.e. their values, their beliefs regarding God, religion, and spirituality, those things that they hold most sacred, etc.). This will allow you to know how your teen views the world and those around him or her.

8. Always have a time of day that the whole family is able to come together and discuss the events and concerns of the day. Dinnertime or right before bed can be a good time to do this.

9. Support your teen in his or her interests. If your teen is involved in a particular activity or sport, be a part of it. Go to the games or attend the meetings.

10. Do not insult your teen, and if there are siblings in the family, do not compare the teen to his or her brother(s) or sister(s). Be considerate of your teen's feelings.

11. Do not embarrass your teen in front of his or her friends. At this stage in your teen's life, friends are very important, and putting your teen in a position where he or she might appear badly in front of his or her buddies is sure to cause problems. Opt rather to take your teen aside to discuss a problem or issue that needs to be addressed.

12. Be willing to admit that even you make mistakes. Let your teen know that you really are human and that you want him or her to learn from mistakes that you have made rather than having to endure the same consequences that you did.

13. Above all, treat your teen in the way that you would want him or her to treat you.

One last thing to always keep in mind is that our teens will be grown and gone before we know it. Start today to begin working on your communication with your teen.