Tips for Parents Shopping for Their Goth Teenager

I am a Goth, and I love to buy clothes that are my style and my taste. My Mom didn't always agree with what I liked and would often put the brakes on when I showed her some of my favorite items. As a parent I guess that should be expected. Get to know your kid. They aren't all bad, some Goths just like to be dressed in dark colors, and some are actually bad, and do bad things. So dressing Goth doesn't mean that your child is bad. Know your child, and try to understand the way that they feel, the way that they are, and work with them.

Know first what your school allows in the line of clothing. Most schools won't allow chains or collars, with or without spikes, and most schools don't allow pants that hang off the butt or drag on the floor. They also don't allow skirts that practically show it all. So once you know these rules, it will give you a vantage point at where to work from.

Find a good Goth store. The one and only place that I shop for Goth styled clothes is Hot Topics. This is great and has many styles and sizes. What is really cool is that they have stuff on clearance all the time. This shop has styles even you may like, with retro T's that have Van Halen, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, and many more older bands that are still playing or on the radio all the time. You may actually like some of the stuff in this shop.

Listen to you teen. We know what we like, and we may or may not know just why we like them, but there is a reason for it even if we do not know yet. Dressing Goth is like making a statement. If you don't like it, we don't care, you don't have to wear it, but respect us too. Most Goths respect others and the elderly. I am always helping others and holding doors open. I have bent over and picked up a wad of money that an elderly gentleman dropped without knowing it, and returned it. He was shocked, not just at me and the way I was dressed, but that I gave it back. I didn't want that preppy girl that stood next to him get to it first, as her eyes bulged out of her head at the sight of that money. It wasn't hers, and I saw to it that he got his money back.

Work with us. You may not like the styles, and some are overboard, but be sure, we are going to ask for the most outlandish item there is. This gives you a lot of room to work in. Look for things that are similar and remind us about the school rules.

Remind us of the safety. Point out reasons why not to wear the chains. First of all, they will get caught on many things, even grocery carts, and little peoples fingers. I have a 18 month old daughter. I am always using caution around her if I am wearing a pair of pants with chains. I only have one pair, and I only wear them on special occasions. Wearing spikes are not a good idea, some little kid could run up to you and not know it and bump you and get hurt badly. Being a mom has helped me see things differently, even if I am a Goth teen, I am Mommy first.

Work on us with the prices. Don't be afraid to say, well, this style has been out for a while, lets watch it and see if it goes on sale. I can't really afford it right now, lets get something else instead, and save up some extra money and get that later. We may complain, but we won't die without it, even if we say we will.

Another good thing to do is to have your teen work for what they want. Have your teen get a job, even if its baby sitting, cleaning or mowing grass. It won't take long for them to earn the money, and they will appreciate the item even more. When I spent over $100 on a pair of pants and a top, I found out just what it took to earn the money to buy them, and I have more respect for them, and for myself.

Don't always put on the brakes. If you can't handle something, it is okay, but keep your mind open and don't be afraid to point out something else, something a little more to your liking. And don't be surprised when we give you that pitiful look.

Taking that step to go shopping with us, and going into our store is a great start. We once took my Grandmother into a store that sold a lot of Goth items, there was a tattoo parlor and piercing. I will never forget the look on that sweet little 70 year old lady's face when she saw the man behind the counter with tats all over, eyebrows, nose, lips and chin pierced, loops in his earlobes, and sporting a really cool spiked collar. It probably was not a good idea, I am surprised that she didn't die on us. We never told her what to expect. So know upfront, these stores have people dressed in many fashions, with many types of piercings, and they are just the same as everyone else, well, sort of.

Another big tip, if you make a deal or a promise, stick to it. We expect you as a parent to honor any deal or promise you make. If you back out on it, we probably won't be very happy. Although most of us don't actually act out on our anger, or hurt feelings, there are a few that are just down right mean. So know your teen and know what to expect from him or her, and what to expect when you walk into that shop with us. It may be fun!