Tips for Partners of Diabetics

Being married to a Type 1 diabetic sometimes feels as if I live with a time bomb. My husband's diabetes in many ways controls our lives. We have to ensure that he will be able to test when needed and that he has the refrigeration he needs for his medication. We also make many of our food choices based on lowering the overall amount of insulin he needs.

For a long time, I worried incessantly about the effects that diabetes has on one's health, no matter how diligent that person is. Spouses and partners of diabetics often face tough challenges, and I would imagine those obstacles are even more difficult for people diagnosed with Type 2 because they have established lifestyles that often must be changed drastically. I have learned, however, how to cope with the illness and hope others can learn from these tips.

First, nagging is not the answer. Though I thought about heart disease, amputations, dialysis, and other problems, my husband has to think about the disease and its effects on his everyday life. Someone with diabetes is acutely aware of how a high or low blood sugar affects his or her mood. Constantly harping on the medication and carbohydrate counts will not improve the situation. Use a gentle touch and ask if your partner has taken his medication without pushing the issue.

Allow your partner to set the tone for telling other people. Some people with chronic conditions want others to know while some prefer to keep the issue quiet. My husband, for example, tells people only when necessary because he feels that others are too interested in his health once they find out. Don't rush to tell everyone you know. Leave that to your partner if she wants it done.

Do your part to buy into the lifestyle changes but do not act as if you are hurt or burdened by the process. If you are with a non-insulin dependent diabetic, then you likely will spend a good deal of time determining what your partner can and cannot eat under the prescribed diet. You should adhere to the diet as much as possible so that your entire family can embrace the change. Just do not focus on what you are giving up. Try out new foods and be upbeat about the process.

Finally, and most important, you should learn to cherish every moment you have. Knowing that my husband likely does not have a normal life expectancy is a tough concept to type, let alone accept. For years, I worried too much about his health and obsessed over his blood sugar scores because I wanted to make sure I had him around longer. It took a while before I realized that my worrying took away from the time we do have. Treat your partner as if you enjoy being with him and try to forget about the disease and have fun together.