Tips for Piano Teachers to Handle a Student Who Wants to Quit

Piano teachers are passionate about teaching their instruments. Though motivating their students is one of their major concerns, many piano teachers do not acknowledge how shame can lead their students to quit piano lessons.

In music school, the course of study of many piano students is heavily music-oriented. Pedagogy courses focus on educational teaching methods rather than on Development Psychology. Many piano teachers are ignorant of many emotional disorders of our times including bipolar disorder, attention deficit disorder and attachment disorders. Thus, many emotionally disturbed children cannot access piano studies that could help them heal.

An emotionally disturbed child is a sensitive child. Due to being frequently misunderstood, a disturbed child exhibits abrasive behavior. This child is not fun to be around. Thus, the child is often isolated. The child's self-esteem crashes further down. Shame makes a child feel that others see him as flawed too. A sensitive child feels others view him as defective.

A sensitive child forced by his parents to take piano lessons will be a problem for any piano teacher. When a child enters the piano studio, his expectations are very high for an engaging experience. But, if it does not occur, the child feels that the teacher is not attuned to his emotions. The child will automatically dislike the teacher. The child will either feel there is no point in continuing piano lessons for it is a "boring" experience.

The piano teacher will try many ways to motivate this child. However, the poor attitude of the child will discourage the teacher immensely. The teacher thinks that the child is irresponsible, unreasonable, and disrespectful. The piano teacher will likely feel that the student is not responding with the same enjoyment as she does in teaching the child.

Piano teachers can unknowingly shame the sensitive child by pointing out his mistakes too often. A sensitive child is hyper vigilant to a teacher's facial expression, tone of voice, gestures, and movements. A humiliated child avoids the gaze of the teacher and tries to hide psychologically. A child who has experienced shame while in piano lessons will have the urge to hide his real feelings. It is a spontaneous reaction when the child feels too overwhelmed with shame. He views himself as bad, sometimes defective and flawed. The mood of the child to learning will be so much affected. The child is unable to enter into a meaningful relationship with the teacher. The student-piano teacher relationship is impaired. The student will pester his parents that he wants to quit piano lessons.

If a teacher is sensitive and recognizes this with her students, shame is contained and does not aggravate the mood of the child. However, if the piano teacher ends the piano lesson with this issue unresolved, the child gets out of piano lessons with negative feelings. Thus, it is important for a teacher to show a child that shame is just a short term occurrence. If successful with this approach, the child will quickly repair his mistakes and feel that there is no outright threat. Piano teachers must be careful to reprimand the behaviors and not the child himself.

Parents of piano students must stay with their children during piano lessons. The role of parents in the success of piano lessons is critical. Parents can bridge the gap between the piano teacher and the child. The parents can present both experiences from two different perspectives. Thus, the child and the piano teacher can repair the damage of the shame.

The piano teacher will feel that she can be confident to discipline the child and still maintain an open relationship with the child. The child may then understand the limits of his teacher with regards to disciplining him. This will make the child feel very secure and emotionally safe with this teacher.

Conclusion:

One of the main reason a child loses interest in piano lessons and eventually quits is shame. A student feels flawed. His mistakes are overwhelming for him. The piano lesson fuels his negative perception of himself. He views the experience as a manifestation of his weakness rather than his strength. He feels he is not good at piano.

If shame is exposed and expressed and the piano teachers respond with empathy, the experience for the child is transforming. Without shame, any learning experience is integrated seamlessly to the present experience and adds value to the child. With shame, the child breaks the relationship with the piano teacher especially if her parents do not give him the support he needs. The piano student must not be left alone to his distress or he will quit piano lessons. Piano lesson is good for a disturbed child. The discipline of piano learning helps a sensitive child heal.