Tips for Preparing for a Divorce from Experience

You've just found out that your spouse has filed for divorce. You haven't been served yet, though. So all you know is that your spouse has filed for divorce. Time is of the essence. You don't want to wait until the last minute to do a few things.

A Lawyer

If the two of you jointly own some assets together, (a home, auto, boat, etc) or you own a business together, you need to get a lawyer as soon as possible. Your lawyer can get all the information on the grounds in which your spouse filed, if there is a protective order, if they want half of something, as well as your court date. These are the kind of things you want to know well in advance. Don't sit around and wait to be served.

Now if the two of you have no children, do not have any joint assets and the spouse who filed isn't trying to take things away from you, you likely don't need a lawyer and you can save your money.

The Court House

My wife filed one day. I found found out that she filed that night and I marched down to the courthouse the next morning to get any an all information that they would give me. (what exactly was filed in addition to the divorce, and the court date). Get down to that courthouse and get the details as soon as you find out about the divorce.

Your Spouse

Do your best to be civil to your spouse. Don't freak out and go off on them. I know it hurts but getting into a confrontation with your soon to be ex, isn't productive.

Children

If the two of you have children with each other, this will complicate things a bit but it's nothing that you and the court can't handle. If you are the wife and the custodial parent of the child or children, you need to be prepared for your husband to take you to court for visitation. You can save the trouble for him and you if you just do it with the divorce. While you are there, petition the court for child support as well. If you're the husband, you need to be prepared to pay child support and to legally prepare for your right to visitation of you child or children.

Don't badmouth the child's father or mother in front of the child. That is just poor parenting in every sense of the word. Even if you have good reason to badmouth them, don't do it in front of your child or children. If your ex (the child's mother or father) is a rotten person, as the child matures, they will be able to see that for themselves. Give them time, they'll be able to form their own opinions of their father or mother in good time.

So the two of you just weren't meant to be together. That doesn't mean you can't be friends or at least be civil to one another. This is especially important when there are children involved. Your children don't want to see Mom and Dad at each other's throat. You don't have to have sex, you don't have to make out, you don't have to hold hands, but do your best to be nice to one another.

A divorce is a rough emotional thing to go through as well. Take some time to heal before you jump into another relationship, learn from the mistakes you made in your marriage, and you'll recover a lot faster. Good luck. You will love again. I'm sure of it.